I did it! I actually completed my New Year’s Resolution. I finally *finally* gave this old blog the makeover it’s been sorely needing for the past three years.

Every time I load my blog now I get such a thrill. Not only because I managed to get it to do everything I wanted it to, but also because I now get to be greeted by a little kitty butt. It’s sad how much happiness that brings me.

Blogger has come a very long way this year, and I’m thrilled that I don’t have to migrate over to Typepad or WordPress like every other craft blog out there. I finally managed to find a template that gave me my precious three columns, I succeeded in customizing it despite the fact that I can barely get by in html let alone xml, and it came with those nifty tabs right there that give me even more cool organization than I imagined.

Over the past three days my butt has been glued to my office chair as I went back through every archived post and relabled and cleaned up. It has been convenient timing that I’ve had a wicked bad head cold and haven’t had the energy to move. Tedious projects are great when your brain is too clogged with snot to do any thinking.

Along with all my pretty changes and all my organizational changes, the thing I’m the most proud of is that I finally got off my duff and created my etsy shop. Hooray for me! Now I have my own little shop to sell the stuff I make. People tell me all the time that I should sell the things I make, and I always have to laugh and shake my head. There once was a time when I thought it was that easy too. Now with etsy I don’t have to beg shopkeepers to pay me attention, I don’t have to face rejection, I don’t have to invest hundreds of dollars in a craft fair only to watch people lookylu and pass me by. Right now I just have some simple things up there that I’ve had on hand for awhile, but I’ll continue to toss things up as I make them. As always, custom orders are always welcome.

I’m just so proud of myself I could burst. Now that I’m starting the New Year off on the right bloggy foot, let’s just hope I don’t run out of steam and forget all about it again.

This project took me forever to get started. The fact that I don’t draw threw a little hitch in my plans. I have so many designs in my head that I can never get out. One of these days I really gotta learn how to pick up a pencil.

I went out and picked up supplies right away. Shopping for craft stuff is never something I put off. I found an old leather skirt and a big hunk of linen at a thrift store, I went to a cool bead store for some nifty beads, and then I dropped by Michael’s to pick up some pearle cotton.

The next step took me a couple weeks. I didn’t want to just copy the design of the Anthropologie bracelet. This isn’t called “I Can Knock This Off,” after all, so I had to make my own. And again, I don’t draw. So I pretty much avoided it for a while. Then I started to feel guilty that I’d bought supplies for the project and I had this Friday deadline hanging over my head, so I finally just did it while we watched television the other night. Once I got started it was actually pretty easy. I measured how long the bracelet had to be and then how wide I wanted it to be. It’s a little over 7″ long, and at it’s widest point it measures a whopping 3 1/2″. I tend to like cuff bracelets because I have gorilla arms. The rest was just drawing circles and trying to use up all the space. There are some awkward spots left, but I figured I can always fill those in with some more embroidery.

Then I used some tracing paper to put my pattern onto the linen, and started the stitching. I plan on adding the beads first so that the embroidery can cover up any raw space and will also surround the beads like a cabouchon.

I’m feeling really good about my direction, so hopefully by next Friday I will have succeeded in finishing it.

I’ve been thinking about this new endeavor, and wondering how long I could sustain it, and also the ethical implications of it, so I’ve created a few rules for myself.

1) I won’t post something made by the artist. If someone is hand making artwork, I think it would be totally scummy of me to come along and say “I can totally make that myself, why spend the money?” Because it’s their artwork. Maybe I could have made that collage if I was copying it, but I didn’t make it because it’s their expression and their idea.

2) I won’t post something sold by a designer owned company. I’ve started businesses in this market before and I know what an uphill battle it is. So I won’t undermine anybody who is trying to get started. I may use something from this group as inspiration, or a jumping off point, but I won’t copy it.

3) I will post stuff that is mass produced and/or crazy overpriced. Since the intent behind this search is to inspire myself and others to make something artistic with our own two hands, to save money and use existing materials instead of consuming consuming consuming, to spend more time in my own personal expression instead of adopting someone else’s, I don’t see anything wrong with “knocking off” something mass produced. Especially since I’m doing this for personal use or instruction. If anyone disagrees with me I’d love to discuss it.

4) I won’t sell anything recognizable as a “knock off.” I hope to develop an etsy shop in the future, and I won’t put anything up there that I copy from another source. I might use stuff
as a jumping off point, but if I sell it, it will be a pattern or style I develop, in accordance with copyright law.

5) I will post updates and finished projects. If I don’t follow through on some of these things, then really I’m only encouraging others to copy for no good reason. I don’t plan to copy a design from start to finish, but to discover new ways of production, interpret designs in my own way, work some bugs out and instruct in craft techniques. If all I do is post pictures that look reproduceable, then all of my talk about lofty ambitions is just to make me feel like it’s OK to copy someone else’s work.

That makes me feel better. I’m kind of fascinated by the thought of this. Where is the line between inspiration and stealing? What source can I use and what sources would be unethical? Am I totally overthinking something I might not follow through with anyway? Probably.

The trait I got from my dad that I’m the most grateful for is the ability to look at something and figure out how it’s done. He prided himself on being able to make it by hand, even if it cost more to do it, even if it took so much time it wasn’t worth it, even if it sat in the garage for years on end, he was a self-sufficient mountain man trapped in suburbia, and there was virtue in just doing it on your own.

I’ve got that same streak in me and there are times when I love it (like when I’m saving a fortune on tiling a floor) and times when I curse it (like when I can’t bring myself to buy a $60 sweater because I can figure out how to knit it myself despite the fact that the yarn alone will easily cost $100 and then take me 6 months to make.)

Whenever I can’t sleep and I’m strolling through the internet, I always stop and bookmark something wonderful for sale somewhere that I could figure out how to make. It goes into the folder labeled “I Can Make This,” waiting for the day that I’ll suddenly run out of projects (Ha!) and need an idea of something new to make just because (Ha Ha!).

Want to take a guess how many projects within the “I Can Make This” folder I’ve actually made? Yeah. None.

So, hoping to inspire others as well as myself, and to help me in my efforts to blog more frequently, I’m going to start posting things from this folder every Friday. Maybe if I have to look at it whenever I update, I’ll actually feel inspired to do something about that. But probably not. At least my blog will look pretty thanks to somebody else’s work.

Here’s my inaugural I Can Make This project:

Anthropologie is a freaking fantastic store. They have incredible products, with incredible displays, and they appreciate the creative folk. With my “Make It Myself” streak, I frequently wander through stores with a camera or a pen and paper sketching down cool stuff, and I frequently get kicked out of those stores. Anthropologie is the only store I’ve ever been in that invited me to come back with a camera, gave me a catalog, talked about my work, and invited me to bring it in to consign. They LOVE the creative folk. My only complaint is that their prices are really high, so I’ve never actually purchased anything from them. I found this bracelet the other day after some internet friends were discussing how to incorporate their embroidery obsession into jewelry. This bracelet is to die for.

Of course it’s only $328, so I’ll run right out and snap it up. Gulp. I can’t even type that without breaking into a sweat.

I think the way I’d make it is to bead on a piece of gauze or linen, surround the beads with cording adhered by a couching stitch or a light weight acid free fabric glue, and then either glue the piece or stitch it to a light weight piece of leather. I think it’s exquisite and totally achievable. We’ll see.

Last Sunday I auditioned for a big fat big big play. And I still haven’t heard anything and I’m losing my mind.

5 stakes in my area are working together to produce a play that will be the first performance ever in the brand new state of the art Gallo Center being built here in Modesto. There will be about 1000 people working on the production, and the other night over 150 people auditioned for a role.

When I was at BYU, I decided, too late, to follow my heart and study acting. Of course most of BYU’s programs are set up so that you cannot finish them unless you’ve been there for four years and I was a transfer student. So I ended up taking two of the beginning classes where at 20 I was the oldest person in the classes, auditioned for a play and then just gave up any thoughts of finishing the program and graduated already because school is dang expensive.

I got the part I wanted in that play at BYU and my friends in the program were really surprised. It was for the hottest writer in school with a great director and I hadn’t paid my dues and I got it anyway. And then my wisdom tooth got infected and I had to have emergency oral surgery and got kicked out of the play.

That actually wasn’t the first time I had to drop out of a play after getting the cherry role. As a teenager one of my stakes did a production of Saturday’s Warriors and I got cast in the lead role as Pam. But then they scheduled all the rehearsals over spring break, which I didn’t get because I was in college and working two jobs. So out I went. And the director told me she cried when she got the news.

I got really into acting in junior high when my drama teacher cast me as Hermia in A Midsummer Night’s Dream. After that I auditioned for everything that came along and I always got a really good part. Now I think it’s probably because I’ve always been a very good reader and at that age that’s really all it takes. But at the time I thought that I would be a famous actress and I envisioned all the good I would do in the world be being successful and retaining my standards.

When I graduated from college we moved to Orange County where Bear’s parents lived so we could be closer to family and I could try my hand at being an actress. I bought books and headshots and took one look around LA and realized that I was never going to make it as an actress the traditional way. In LA the streets are lined with women trying to break into the porn business. And after meeting a few dozen waiters and retail clerks and subway sandwich artists who were all actors willing to do whatever it took, and I mean *whatever it took* to get a break, I just decided that pursuing acting that way was not going to work for me. I would never find an agent in LA willing to take me on with no professional experience and being unwilling to take on about 90% of the roles out there because I wouldn’t do a nude scene or a graphic love scene or smoke or take the Lord’s name in vain, or discuss overly adult content, or, or, or, blah, blah, blah, you get the idea.

So I gave it up and moved on with my life. But every time I watch the Oscars or the Emmys I look on with longing.

Several months ago I went to a community theater production of Kiss Me Kate. Before it started I was really excited and thinking of joining a community theater group myself. Then I sat through an awful awful awful two hours and decided against it. Although I had to sit and make a pro and con list of which was the greater evil, getting on stage and making a fool of myself with people who don’t know their lines and can’t figure out how to work their zippers, or never getting back on stage again. It was a close call, but I finally determined that those weren’t my only options and decided to wait it out.

So when I heard about this production I was overjoyed. I worked hard, prepared two different songs and a monologue, auditioned my little heart out and I really felt like I nailed it. I felt like the part was mine.

Whenever anyone asked I would say that I felt like I did really well but there were so many variables, I might not have seen all the auditions, the director might already have known of someone they wanted to work with, they might have taken an instant dislike to me, blah blah blah. Who’s to say?

But in my head I thought, that part is mine.

Last night I heard that some people I knew were getting callbacks already. And I haven’t heard a peep. I’ve even started answering calls from telemarketers just in case the director decides to call me from an 800 number. The deadline is still about a week away, but I’m just going nuts.