I really wish I had a blackberry or an iphone that tapped directly in to my brain. Then, whenever I think about blogging, I could just *be* blogging. If that could happen, I’d be blogging so much the internet would be sick of me.
I have stacks and stacks of things I’ve *meant* to blog about. I have a really cute stuffed cat pattern I made for Halloween I was going to share, I have finished projects all over waiting to be photographed, I have major house renovations that no one has even seen yet. And I have some really really cute Christmas plans. But whenever I sit down at the computer, the thought of writing any of that out seems to take more energy than I have. Instead I spend hours surfing around after nothing and wasting time.
I’ve been spending whatever measly energy I can scrape together working on this house. We’re hosting several Christmas parties here this year, so all of a sudden I’ve got deadlines looming down on me, cabinets to be sanded and never-ending paint staring at me and calling me names and I really just want to read a book in bed.
My pregnancy is going just fine. I’m now four months along and I’ve reached the uneventful stage. Babies not big enough to make me feel her yet, and we still have a few weeks before we find out the sex, so I’m basically just getting fatter every day and that’s about all I can say about that. I’m having constant dreams about baby being a girl. I don’t know if that’s prophetic, or just subconscious because I want a girl so badly that I’m going to feel terrible guilt if it’s a boy.
Aside from the relentless exhaustion, the other thing keeping me from my regular blogging is all the revisions I want to make to this place. I’ve been thinking a lot about the blog and how it’s changed since way way back in 2002 when I first started shoving my thoughts out on the internet. I wrote about a ton of things I probably don’t want the whole world to know because I was content with a small audience and my anonymity. I don’t really have any anonymity anymore, and I’d really like to change the focus of my blog, which would hopefully attract more readers.
When I first started writing, it’s because I moved to New Hampshire where I didn’t know a soul, and I was completely crippled from my chronic illness. Now my illness is under control, my infertility is temporarily fixed, and the internet is a totally different place. For so many years my life has been this crazy dramatic roller coaster, and now [knock on wood] the roller coaster seems to be settling into more of a nice leisurely Sunday drive.
Way way way back in 2001 I started a website and a business to sell my crafts. It flopped hard. Way hard. Turns out, I was just too revolutionary and ahead of my time. Now there are a million online craft shops with blogs to support them and etsy taking care of all the sales issues. It’s so much easier now than when I started, and there is a fantastic community of craft blogs sharing inspiration and their amazing products. That’s the direction I’d really like to go. But before that happens, I really need to edit archives, redesign my template, yadda yadda yadda. All of that is so daunting, it’s kind of keeping me from getting down to work. Especially when I still have cabinets calling to me and a bathroom to paint.
New years will come sooner than I’m ready for it, and I think addressing the blog issue will make a nifty resolution.