Motherhood and other creative adventures
I hate trying to come up with something to eat for lunch. I’m normally just getting a work groove going when that time comes around, and I hate having to stop everything I’m doing to either cook a whole meal, or scrounge for a piece of string cheese and a handful of crackers.
When there is actually good food waiting for me? Hot dog! I love it.
Down low in a tree right at eye level at my in-laws house, I found this sweet little mama dove and her babies. She let me get so close to her I couldn’t believe it, snapping pictures away while moving as slowly and steadily as I could.
Wook at da widdle babies! And look at how regal they’ll grow up to become.
**Things might get a little wonky around here today. I’m making some long overdue changes and I’m kind of a “figure it out as I go” kind of gal. Everybody hang on tight for the ride.**
I don’t typically think of myself as a “special needs blogger,” which is silly, because I totally am.
But that’s probably because I don’t always think of Atti as having “special needs.” I mean, of course he does, but when people ask me how Atti’s doing, my answer is always, “Great! He’s an awesome little guy!” Only later do I think to tell them about his progress in therapy or what our next milestone is.
This whole special needs business is pretty funny. Parents of typically developing kids are so often terrified by our reality, but the truth is that we’re often terrified of each other’s realities too. The fact that Atti might never walk and I will be dealing with diapers for a very long time makes some people quake with fear. Meanwhile I drink in every hug and kiss and lie awake at night thinking about what a mom of an autistic kid might do without them.
Then when you start advocating for your child and fighting over the tiny scraps of funding and resources, those fears can become wedges. If you have a child with motor issues, panic and fear can make you think that a sensory integration disorder is a luxury. If your child has a sensory integration disorder, walking doesn’t seem as important as being able to get through the day without screaming.
That’s something that really came out of the BlogHer Special Needs miniconference in a big way. Right now funding is threatened in every state, school boards are reluctant to dedicate a significant portion of the budget for special programs, and disability rights still have a long way to go. If you think that disabled access isn’t a problem? Try taking your child in a wheelchair through New York City, or an amusement park, or even down your street. My town doesn’t have sidewalks on many streets, and even those are often not maintained. Try to push a toddler in a wheelchair over concrete uprooted by trees or up and over a curb because there isn’t a ramp for access.
The need is great, but we can’t allow that to separate us. Parents of kids with special needs have more in common than what differs. I need the mom of a kid with Down’s Syndrome to fight for Atti to have access to a bathroom that fits his chair, and I’ll advocate for her kid to get educational access, and we’ll all fight against hate speech.
The needs of the kids might be different, but the needs of the parents are all the same. We need support, we need encouragement, we need someplace to put the frustration and fear we feel, we need someone to understand all the beautiful little milestones along the way, and that our lives are not tragedies. I found that at BlogHer, and I’m so grateful I did.
Read what some other attendees learned from the conference.
These have been in my head for AGES. Remember how excited I was when I finally found the rings I needed? Oh, the relief!
Every crafter I’ve ever met has looked for ways to cover their whole life in their craft of choice. Knitters knit furniture, scrappers scrap artwork, and stitchers stitch jewelry.
I drafted up these little patterns to be stitched over one thread of 28 ct linen with one strand of embroidery floss, making sure that the design fit inside of the ring’s bezel.
With the stitching done I traced the ring on a piece of cardboard, and cut it down until it would fit inside. I cut four pieces of thin batting to the same size and glued them altogether.
Cut your finished stitching into a circle about 1/4″ bigger than your ring. Stitch a running stitch around the edge of the circle, a few threads in for stability. Pull the thread like a drawstring with the batting and cardboard inside. Stitch from side to side to lace the edges together and really secure your stitching around the batting. Then use a strong glue to glue it into the bezel.
I made this ring to wear at BlogHer with my internet identity initials on it.
And then this ring is my personal icon – a tree for Tresa.
I made sure to use linen and thread that would hold up under washing, since I wouldn’t be able to do much of anything without this ring getting dirty. I’ll just have to remember to take this one off before doing any big construction projects and I should be just fine.
The swag you get at BlogHer is pretty legendary. I brought an extra suitcase and I filled the whole thing right up. But I think my favorite gift was from the hotel I stayed at. As I was heading out to the conference Friday morning, a cute girl from The Omni handed me a sack lunch, “Just like mom used to make.”
Including the love note.
….
….
How do you spell gahhjdfig :drool: :thud:?
I seriously cannot remember the last time I felt so worn out. Emotionally, physically…
My feet want to report me for domestic abuse.
But at the same time I’m exhilarated, inspired, feeling like I am a part of new communities accomplishing legendary things, and glowing from days of So. Much. Fun.
The cook-off was crazy and a total blast. I felt like a Top Chef, and I have so much new respect for what those contestants do. That stuff is HARD. And sweaty. I had to keep dabbing my forehead while video rolled and pictures snapped.
I didn’t end up winning, but please believe me when I say that it hardly seems to matter. That is not some hollow “trying to be a gracious loser” speech. I went into the contest feeling really confident, but once I saw, and *tasted*, what everyone else made, I knew it was anybody’s game. The other contestants were so sporting, lending each other supplies, offering to help out when they had a free moment, and so much fun. And Knorr treated us like total VIP’s. When the winners were announced and I wasn’t one of them, I indulged in a couple of bummed out moments, and then I hit the party floor and forgot all about it. There was too much great stuff happening all around me to feel sorry for myself.
This was my first blogging conference, and I got everything out of it that I wanted. I met so many amazing people and hit it off with every one of them. There wasn’t a bummer in the bunch. I spent one day hanging out with the Special Needs bloggers, and another day hanging out with the Craft bloggers, caught up with my pals from San Diego, and spent every night partying with anyone who was standing near me. At the party the first night I walked up to a group of strangers and by the end of the night we were lifelong friends.
There were moments where all the socializing threatened to be a bit much for me. Anxiety and crowds of new people are not known for being great friends. But I knew if I didn’t take advantage of the time I had I would regret it later. So I took a deep breath and threw myself out there. I am so grateful I did.
But now I’m tempted to stay indoors for a while. Plus I have to make it up to my feet.
I got my backpack packed, I got my pretty clothes picked out, I’ve got all my gadgets fully charged, and I’m ready to party.
I don’t think I really understand what I’m going to be walking into, but my goal is to meet a whole bunch of great people, learn a thing or two, and have some fun.
I made myself these pretty new business cards to pass out to all my soon to be cyber-bff’s. I can’t stop looking at them. I adore them.
My big cooking contest is on Saturday. I’ve got an hour to make my dish for a bunch of fancy judges, and then I’ll be interviewed for a video. So I’ve got to look camera ready after all that. So scary, but so fun.
I leave this afternoon and I’ll be back here on Monday. With lots and lots and lots to tell you about, I’m sure. Wish me luck!
In this self-reflective phase I’ve been going through, I’ve been thinking a ton about my blogging niche – my “brand” – and paying attention to some of the advice floating out there. So much of the blogging and social media expertise makes me roll my eyes, since we’re really all just figuring it out together, but there are definitely areas I can improve (ahem *dealing with comments* ahem). I am inspired by so many great bloggers out there, and I watch as many other bloggers are just another version of the biggest names. It can be so easy to ape the stars, whether it’s out of flattery or just trying to follow a successful formula. But I don’t think the world needs another Dooce, another Pioneer Woman, another Soulemama, another Design Mom. Those women all have their spheres handled. What do I have to offer that’s unique?
The blogging advice that frustrates me the most is that you’re “supposed” to narrow your topics so that you have a hook. I see this a ton in the craft blog world where sometimes people get so specific that they have one blog for their knitting and another for their sewing, or where they just create with one medium so they’re known as the go-to person who works with popsicle sticks or something, or, most troubling to me, leave all traces of a real personal life off the screen. That advice often gets results, but I can’t bring myself to follow it. There has always been too much in this world that I’ve been interested in, and I don’t want to have to choose one part of myself at the expense of anything else.
In small moments I get frustrated that some other blogs, especially those that compile the work of others, get so much more traffic than I do. Many blogs, often in the craft or design world, offer nothing more than links to another blogger’s efforts. It can be tempting to rely on someone else’s beautiful pictures or good ideas. It’s easy, the ideas are plentiful, traffic increases, but there are so many blogs that do that, the world does not need another one from me.
Before I sound too critical, let me say here that some of the blogs that compile content are exquisite and the first ones I check every morning. Some of those bloggers are excellent networkers and curators and spend valuable time in research. Some of those bloggers have featured my work and been supportive and promoted me and my blog. But then there are other bloggers, and some of those bloggers are skating by on borrowed work without offering much value in return.
I love to listen to interviews with artists and writers and performers to gain some insight into what they do, and this issue comes up a lot. Do you follow a personal, artistic vision, even if it means you stay a little obscure? Or do you do whatever it takes to make it big? If those two things happen to overlap, then that’s the dream come true. But for most of us, they won’t. So do I keep plugging away for another ten years, recording my strife and my projects for a wonderfully supportive readership that is a fraction of what the biggest bloggers get, or do I obey the experts, toss in some blogging tricks, some things guaranteed to up the page views, at the expense of my content?
I don’t mean to sound like some moody teenager prattling on about “selling out,” I don’t think it’s anywhere near as simple as that. It’s more like, following standard practices that are more or less proven to work, or staying true to my particular voice which resists those practices. The people only interested in working with popsicle sticks won’t face this dilemma because their voice happens to fit with the standard practices.
But for me, I have those two forces fighting it out in my head. The ambitious part of me that wants to be The Most Successful at anything I try, and the Rugged Individualist part of me that wants to break every rule. Even the ones that work.
So, if that’s what I’m trying to avoid, what am I trying to be? After years of trying to describe my blog as a “personal blog,” or a “mommy blog,” or a “craft blog” and being unsatisfied, I finally decided that what I am is a “Creative Living blog.” I started paying a lot of attention to what inspires me, where I get my ideas, what I want to write about, and I realized that it always comes from finding a solution to a problem. Sometimes those problems are a decorating need, trying to stick to a budget, a need to express myself, or to create the kind of life I want for my family and develop into the kind of person I want to be.
What I want to offer is a creative approach to every aspect of my life. How I parent, how I express myself, how I make a home, how I connect to the world. I want everything I make to be fully integrated into my life, and through that fully integrate my creativity into my life. I want to come up with creative solutions to problems mundane and complex, and tap into my best self by using my talents to live a thoughtful life.
If all that means that I never gain a ridiculous following or get rich off the blog, then I’m going to learn to be just fine with that. Because I think my life will be pretty dang great anyway.
The thing I miss the very most about my San Diego house is my lemon tree and herb garden. I keep wanting to believe that we won’t be renting long enough to put plants in, but I also don’t want to miss out on all those growing years while I’m ignoring reality. So I got myself this sweet little lemon tree to grow on my porch. Maybe I’ll see some fruit to tide me over until I can have my orchard.
Pete Holmes would not trust me, because I have the biggest sweet tooth ever. I went to the dollar store and they had all kinds of interesting things to try. I love these lemonhead candies, they’re like really great sour jellybeans.