Paper: My Minds Eye
Rub-ons: Basic Grey
Letter Stickers: Pink Paislee
Bird Sticker: American Crafts
Hearts: Little Black Dress
Tab: Little Yellow Bicycle
Thank you
September 24, 2010
Atti starts school … sort of
September 13, 2010
A few weeks ago it looked like Atti was going to start a preschool program right away. Due to school district boundaries and programs and red tape, it looks like that isn’t going to happen. Just when I got over my mama grief and was starting to look forward to a little independent time, we’re back together until February when he turns three.
In the meantime, we’ve started showing up to a nearby school a couple of days a week for a program they have where kids with special needs can hang out in a specially equipped gym and play for a bit with a special ed teacher. Since we are STILL fighting the epic battle trying to get his therapy started again, this was a little miracle.
I’ve been so discouraged lately with trying to get Atti care. I still haven’t even begun to fight the battle of dealing with insurance and getting his medical records transferred and finding another pediatric ophthalmologist. And then there’s getting him going back to horseback riding, which requires another doctors visit. It all takes way more energy than I can muster, so I’m trying to tell myself to fight one battle at a time. The most important thing is to get physical therapy started.
Atti’s gotten a little too comfortable at home. He used to love therapy and eagerly went to his therapists, and now he’s clingy and crying and not wanting to leave my side. Hopefully a few weeks of “school” will be just what he needs to get him all ready for the real work he’s got ahead of him in therapy.
Stinker
September 10, 2010
Somebody’s got a personality alright, and it is a contrary one. Notice, if you will, that he did not call me Mama, but he’s got Tresa down like a pro. See how much joy he gets out of giving me the opposite of what I ask for? I’m in trouble.
Long weekend
September 7, 2010
On our way down to visit family we let the GPS take us on a little tour, and it was fantastic. Across miles of orchards, down long stretches of quiet highway, through national forests, and straight up into the mountains.
We had planned on only spending two days, but we couldn’t tear ourselves away. It was the perfect weekend, and a lovely way to say goodbye to summer.
Running out of Steam
September 3, 2010
I am ready for summer to be over. This has been a doozy. Stuffed with traveling and crazy heat and major major work. This was a big summer for me and I’ll probably look back at it as the start of a whole lot, but it was exhausting.
We’re taking off to go to the family beach house and spend labor day elbow deep in aunts and uncles and cousins and second cousins and all sorts of friends and pets that come along with a crowd that big.
And because I am a crafter to my core, I’ll be bringing some Christmas projects with me. As soon as the leaves start turning, you gotta start thinking about these things. Christmas doesn’t make itself.
Walking in the sunshine
August 26, 2010
I’ve had a lot of post going out over the last couple of weeks, so I’ve found myself needing to go to the post office twice a week. Normally this is a chore I leave up to Bear. After a couple horrifyingly memorable experiences trying to steer a stroller through those lines of velvet ropes weaving back and forth, or trying to juggle a baby, packages, keys and other paraphernalia, I decided that going to the post office was a job for Bear.
But now that we moved we live within walking distance to the post office, so when Bear had a super busy day and I had some mail that had to had to had to get out, I put on my big girl pants and womaned up.
I rarely take Atticus on walks, mainly because I am usually unshowered, in my pajamas, and not looking for one more thing to fit into a day. Our version of outside time is to lay on a blanket in the backyard and hope that the neighbors won’t judge me if they noticed I haven’t changed my clothes in a few days.
But I had something that had to get done, so I tossed him in the stroller and beat feet.
It was totally charming. I couldn’t help but notice what a relief it was to take a stroll in the sunshine with my favorite little guy, him shouting “Whee!” every time we went over a curb. We talked about trees and birds and cars and I found my shoulders straightening and the corners of my mouth lifting with every step.
It was so much fun it might actually entice me out of my pajamas on a regular basis.
Denied
August 18, 2010
That trip I just took was the longest I’ve been away from my little buddy, and it was tough. When I finally got back into town I was itching to snatch him up from his crib and take him to bed with us so I could get a snuggle fix, but I was so tired I managed to hold off. When I woke up the next morning and ran for him, he wanted nothing to do with me.
My in-laws were still here, so they reassured me that it was a standard kid thing. They’d seen every grandkid get mad at mom for going away and act out when they returned. They promised that in a couple of days he’d be back to normal.
But while my head knew that everything they said made sense, it couldn’t stop my guts from feeling like they’d been kicked to ribbons.
Every time I picked him up he’d dive away from my body to try to get to grandma. He’d give me the back of his head for kisses, unless he stopped me before I got too close by putting a hand up to my face.
And he still won’t say “I love you.”
I suppose it’s only fair that if I want his every expression to fill me with more joy than I can contain, than I must accept the flip side and deal with the heartbreak of his rejection. But just because I understand it doesn’t mean it feels better.
Taking it easy
August 2, 2010
I’m away this week, off in Utah speaking at a conference and flexing my brain muscles.
I’m really excited about the panels I’m participating in, but I also signed myself up for a crazy amount of work.
Thursday August 5th:
11:15 – 12:45
ARE WE MOVING TOWARD WHOLENESS? WOMEN AND THE FEMININE IN MORMONISM
Wholeness, balance, and inclusiveness characterize maturity. This panel will consider the relationship of both the masculine and the feminine and women and men in the LDS Church. Are feminine and masculine principles, values, and perspectives balanced in Church teachings and structures? Does the Church encourage and provide resources for the spiritual development of both men and women? Do men and women receive equal opportunities to develop their talents and serve in the Church? Do the governing structures of the Church reflect and work toward wholeness, balance, and inclusiveness?
2:15 – 3:15
LINE UPON LINE: HOW THE NEW PERSONAL PROGRESS/DUTY TO GOD PROGRAMS ARE DEFINING TOMORROW’S LEADERS
I* will compare and contrast the new Personal Progress/Duty to God programs and discuss how the requirements, suggested goals, and reading assignments are similar/different for the girls and boys. I will also explore how the Proclamation on the Family has been integrated into the Primary program, discuss what seems to be the most quoted portion of the Proclamation, and examine the possible ramifications based on the rather narrow way it is quoted/used in Primary/YM/YW.
*[I’ll be responding to this author’s paper – RD]
4:45 – 6:15
THE STORIES WE TELL: HOW AN UNPLEASANT TRUTH CAN BE MORE INSPIRATIONAL THAN A PLEASANT FICTION
The stories found in most LDS publications almost always result in a predictably happy ending, but life doesn’t usually wrap up so tidily. Divorce, addiction, abuse, disability–they happen to the best of us no matter how righteous we are, and many of us feel the impulse to hide tragedy in our lives. While it can be terrifying to open up about heartbreaks and disappointments, there are surprising benefits to be found, both for those who share and those who listen. Join a panel of bloggers as they discuss why they share and what the results have been.
Saturday August 6th
2:15 – 3:15
THE ROLE OF FEMINISTMORMONHOUSEWIVES.ORG IN THE “MATURING” OF MORMON FEMINISM
The Salt Lake Tribune religion reporter Peggy Fletcher Stack asked, “Where have the Mormon feminists gone?” The answer came back: to the Internet. But does online feminism translate to change in the real world? What strides have we made, and how far do we still have to go? Is discussing gender concerns in a public forum causing more harm than good? What does Mormon feminism look like today? A panel of women from the Feminist Mormon Housewives blog share their stories and take your questions.
So while I’m off consorting with some of the most brilliant people I’ve ever even heard of and trying to keep up, Atti will be playing with Grandma, eating ice cream for every meal and breaking every rule I’ve set.
See you all next week!
Growing up too fast
July 28, 2010
We’re still fighting the red tape battles to get Atti’s therapeutic services started up again. Every person I’ve talked to expressed regret that the process takes so long, but nobody seems to know any other way to do it. It’s been a rough few months trying to transition and make phone calls and get all the paperwork in place while I’ve tried to keep Atti entertained and continuing his work on our own. I fear I have started some bad habits. There has been more than one day of Yo Gabba Gabba marathons and cheerios for every meal, because trying to be his mom and his team of therapists is just a ridiculous attempt.
I met with his new Service Coordinator last week and I liked her a ton. She totally knows what she’s doing. We went through the options available, discussed how long everything would take to set up, weighed all that against his future options, and it looks like the best solution is for my little tiny baby to start preschool next month.
Preschool.
Like, with a bus and everything.
My little 2 1/2 year old will get on a bus and spend three mornings a week at SCHOOL! I’ve been weepy and clingy ever since we got the news.
To get the care he needs, he would have started preschool at three anyway, but since there is an under three program available, it just made the most sense to start when school starts back up instead of setting up an elaborate program just to undo it all in February. So while it is totally a no brainer of a decision and absolutely the right thing to do, my heart is just screaming NO!
What am I going to do without my best little baby friend at my feet all day?
I still don’t think of Atti as a toddler. Without him running all around the place, I’ve gotten this extended babyhood where even at 2 1/2 I spend most of our time together giving kisses and cuddles. Now it looks like we’re going to leapfrog right over that toddler phase and go straight to preschooler. Oh my heart. I don’t know how I’m going to take it.
Atti’s finished room
July 16, 2010
We had two last unpainted rooms in this place, and after our weeks long painting marathon, I could not get back up and finish those last two rooms. Ug. Even the thought was exhausting.
But then I volunteered to host a get together with my friends from church, and my pride kicked in to get me over that last hump.
Since we’re renting this place, I didn’t want to buy more vinyl letters to just leave them behind again, so I couldn’t replicate my alphabet border. We also figured that it would be safer to just paint one color since we’re painting without permission and gambling with our security deposit.
Now that my baby is 2 1/2, a mobile over his crib really doesn’t do much for him, but I loved how it looked over the chair. We also had to upgrade to a much bigger bookshelf for my little bookworm.
After my successful hanging of a vertical line of pictures, I brought the masking tape back out to hang a horizontal row and it worked like a dream. I’ll have a post next week going into that in more detail.
It’s really exciting to me to see Atti responding more and more to his environment. He loves having his own space, and he’s so excited that he can play in here, and that it’s not just a room covered in stuff to step over on the way to the crib. Although I think he does miss having all his books in piles to chew on as his little heart desired.