The Good Life

2011 Year of Pleasures #7

February 16, 2011

Bear came through in a big way for Valentine’s Day this year.

First, as a gift of love to console me through the tough news, he took advantage of all the pre-Valentine’s flower sales to bring me my favorites. These tulips arrived as little green pods and it’s been a joy to watch them burst.

On the day itself Bear came home from work making a huge racket as he struggled through the front door with a great big box and a big plastic bag. Once he unveiled all his treasures I wound up with five boxes of my favorite lollipops and latest obsession, and…

this stunning aluminum table I spotted at Costco a few weeks ago and moped about leaving behind. The stinker made me see reason, that we really couldn’t afford it and we had so many other places to use that money, and then he went back the next day and bought it. It’s been stashed in his office ever since.

It’s easy to see that gift giving is one of Bear’s love languages, and I just get to be the lucky girl who lives with it.

Filed Under: Mushy Love Stuff, The Good Life, Year of Pleasures

Atti’s First Day of School

February 11, 2011

After our crazy jam packed weekend, following two crazy jam packed weeks of appointments, we finally reached what we had been working so hard for and Atti had his first day of school on Monday.

In many ways it was a little anti-climactic. Since Atti’s going in as a Special Ed student, there’s a whole different procedure than a typical student. No lists of school supplies to bring, no instructions of school policy, no orientation. Since Atti’s not starting at the beginning of the school year, we’ve just kind of ended up figuring out what we need to know as we need to know it. Including not having the right start time for the first two days.

Bear and I came together his first day to see how things were going to work, and it’s a good thing we did since there was a lot of figuring out we all had to do together. Atti doesn’t have a wheelchair or anything yet, so we had to bring his stroller in from the car so he has a way he can sit up and be transported around. We knew that the class started with breakfast in the morning, but we didn’t think through that we would need to start a tab for him in the cafeteria. There are so many little details that you take for granted when your kid does things the same way as all the others, but when he doesn’t, then every little detail becomes custom. And that’s a lot of planning and negotiations.

After we left breakfast and got back to the classroom, Bear and I didn’t stick around for long. It became obvious that Atti was distracted by having us there so we said goodbye and went home with tears in our eyes.

Atti’s only had two days of school so far. I got a call on Wednesday morning that he had a fever so I raced down to snap him up and he and I have spent the rest of this week drinking gatorade and wiping our noses. But already he’s telling me about the stuff he’s learned. He’ll show you how he washes his hands by rubbing them together, he’s already answering questions easier, and yesterday he named his colors for me.

It’s bittersweet that he’s already saying words I can’t understand because I have no context for them. It won’t be long before I won’t be his best translator anymore. I have so much faith in his teachers and I’m so excited that he’ll open up to more of the world, but it is sad that that means he won’t be exclusively mine anymore.

Filed Under: Atticus, mama musings, The Good Life

Happy Birthday to Atti

February 10, 2011

Our whole family is currently fighting off what feels like the plague, and I think this might be the moment of contamination. But it was too cute to resist.

Atti turned three on Saturday, so amid the rush to start school and another conference for me, we went down to visit the grandparents and have a day at Disneyland and party with the cousins before settling in to the school routine. It was madcap, to say the least.

Atti’s a little daredevil and didn’t have much interest in most of the little kid rides, but he loved going high in the Dumbo and he loved the twisting teacups. Bear and grandma couldn’t keep up with him.

We ended up leaving by noon, since I was feeling pretty sick and Atti was worn out. It’s hard work for him to sit up so much, but he loved every second of it.

Saturday I went to another one of my conferences and avoided touching any of the munchable babies around. By then I was on day 4 of feeling sick so I thought I was recovering until I came home and could barely get into the bed with the coughing and shivering I was doing. I apologize profusely if I spread this to people. I thought I was on the mend, but apparently it was the calm before the storm and I’ve gotten absolutely walloped.

While I spent the weekend in bed and on every kind of drug available over the counter, Bear and his mom went into party planning super mode.

Bear bought toys for goodie bags and made this cake from scratch, and Sal took care of the lunch and all the fixings. The only thing I did was wrap a few presents because I felt guilty I wasn’t doing anything. And then I took back to my bed.

Atti got some really great stuff. New school clothes, tons of learning toys, and lots of attention from his cousins.

And from his mom? He got this horrible mutant flu/cold/plague. Fortunately he seems to have an easier time of it. My immune system can always be counted on to fail me, so hopefully he won’t be incapacitated for a solid week like I have been. *whine*

Filed Under: Are you kidding me?, Atticus, Grand Schemes and Other Plans, The Good Life

Mondrian quilt in very slow progress

February 4, 2011

I’m still not feeling like working on much, but I’m trying to force myself past it. I’ve had this quilt top finished for months and sitting on top of my dresser, so I thought just getting it to the next step would be progress. It’s now back to sitting on top of my dresser, just neatly sandwiched and basted and ready for quilting. Hopefully it won’t take another few months to come down from off the dresser again.

Filed Under: Stuff I Make, The Good Life

Now I’m in trouble

February 3, 2011

School hasn’t even started yet and Atti’s already making leaps in progress. Look at that little diaper booty going down the stairs by his own steam!

He’s fallen down those stairs just once, and since then he’s kept his distance. He was actually way more interested in playing with the baby gate than the stairs, so we finally took it down and just let him police himself.

Then the other day I saw him crawl over and put his hands down on the second step. I was so surprised I asked him, “Atti, do you want to go down the stairs?” and he responded with his typical, “Oh, OK.” That’s how he answers everything he means to say yes to, which is especially funny when it’s something he asks for. “Oos?” “Juice? Are you asking for juice?” “Oh, OK.” As if I’m really twisting his arm and he finally caves in to my juice pushing.

Anyway, I showed him how to back into the stair, how to move one leg at a time, how to shift his weight from one side of his body to the other, and before long we were both chanting, “One leg, two leg, back up, one leg, two leg, back up” all the way down the staircase before climbing back up and starting again.

Sometimes Atti would cheat and stick his legs out straight behind him to slide down the stairs on his belly like a seal, but by the time we finally wore him out he was doing most of the work all by himself. And shouting “BY MYSELF!” to make sure I knew it.

Oh I know it, buddy. And I’m thrilled and nervous at the same time.

Filed Under: Atticus, The Good Life

Recouping

February 2, 2011

The last few months have been so exhausting, both good exhausting and bad exhausting but either way leaving me at a low emotional ebb. So Bear and I took a couple of days off to recharge our spirits. Luckily it happened when San Francisco Sketchfest was in town, so I’ve gotten to see a ton of really excellent comedy when I needed it the most.

Saturday night we drove into the city to catch a taping of one of the comedy podcasts I’m always going on about, Never Not Funny. The show was at 2, so we had our adorable babysitter come over to play with Atticus in the morning, and then drove in for a fancy lunch. After much consultation with Yelp, and a surprisingly hard time finding a nice place to eat lunch in a town known for it’s food, we decided on Gamine.

I ordered a brie and proscuitto crepe which I have to confess not liking a ton, but I didn’t even care. Bear got this mustard and apple cider glazed pork chop served on a bed of brussel sprouts, and then we got a side of the potato gratin. I devoured every last sprout and all of the gratin and then ate nearly an entire loaf of bread as I rudely used it to sop up the sauce on Bear’s pork. That sauce! I nearly licked the plate clean.

I wanted to try one of the delicious sounding desserts, but Bear wanted to walk off his meal before heading in for more, so we poked around a couple of the shops on Union street, I just about had a tantrum in an antique store when I saw all the delectable midcentury furniture that couldn’t come home with me, and we stumbled upon the chocolate shop that sold us those treasures in the photo.

I don’t really like chocolate (I know.) unless it comes hot and in a mug, but Bear loves chocolate, so he spotted the shop and wanted to get our dessert there. When he spotted a sign for gourmet hot chocolate, he knew he could make us both happy. CocoaBella is my new obsession. First of all, the hot chocolate they made me was out of this world. I chose a shade of chocolate and a flavoring, and what they handed me was like a warm chocolate hazelnut pudding. So rich I just drank it in little savoring sips.

Then we chose a few chocolates, but these are no simple chocolates. This place turned out to kind of be a chocolate gallery, with each selection carefully curated from the best artisan chocolatiers in the world. I had a pear one, a tangerine and chili one, and a lemon zest one, and I can’t stop thinking about them.

We got to our show with plenty of time to spare so I had a couple of minutes to meet some people I’ve chatted with over the internet thanks to our shared love of comedy nerd things, and then watch the show working on my knitting in between times I was clutching my stomach from laughing too hard.

The theater was right next to Chinatown and there was a big outdoor festival going on, so we had to zoom out of there as soon as the show was over, but once I saw we had driven past the historic City Lights bookstore, I forced Jared to stop and let me out so I could go check the place out while he drove around the block a few times.

An independent bookstore, a comedy show, gourmet hot chocolate, a walk in the city, midcentury furniture and a fancy French meal. If that is not a day that recharges my spirits, I don’t know if there’s any hope for me.

Filed Under: Grand Schemes and Other Plans, Mushy Love Stuff, The Good Life

2011 Year of Pleasures #5

February 1, 2011

My mother in law Sally is a devoted See’s chocolate fan, so for every holiday you can count on her having a box of it lying around. When we went down for Christmas she also had a selection of their lollypops, including a new-to-me flavor of cinnamon.

I turned crazy over them, hogging every one in the house and then going to three different See’s stores to see if I could get my hands on any more. But by then it was after Christmas and they had disappeared.

Until it was time for Valentine’s Day! It’s too embarrassing to confess how many of these I’ve eaten over the last week, but let’s just say that my mouth feels like I’ve eaten nothing but Cap’n Crunch for every meal. The canker sores are legendary, but totally worth it.

Filed Under: The Good Life, Year of Pleasures

A brighter day

January 31, 2011

I have to thank you all again for your support and patience as we’ve dealt with this new phase of Atti’s life. My blogging has seriously suffered on those days when I just couldn’t bring myself to face the internet but I have felt your endless support to get through it.

It’s all done now. Last Thursday we had the big meeting with every specialist ever to get Atti all set up for services through the school district. It was incredibly strict and by the book because the legal requirements in these situations are stunning. Every time the coordinator stopped the discussion to insist that no decisions had been made and that they were all pending my approval I thought of all the parents who had fought those battles for me. At one point in the meeting I actually found myself getting a little emotional as I thought about the mom who must have fought to make sure that her child had a specific number of minutes the school was required to allow them to be with the typically developing kids. I thought of those Special Ed’s of my youth, the ones that haunted me when I thought of Atti attending them, and I wanted to meet that mother so I could kiss her feet.

I’ve also made peace with the school psychologist. After crying things out with one of Atti’s therapists, she helped me understand that his role is strictly to decide which class he should attend today. That means two things – 1) these tests are not diagnostic which means they don’t predict his future and 2) the psychologist has to make the assumption that any delays Atti has are based on cognition. While I and a few of his other specialists who know him better are sure that cognition is the last thing on the list, the psychologist has to assume it’s a mental delay so that they put him in the appropriate classroom. During our last meeting the psychologist explained that he’s just too little to test for all the different variables, so they have to wait until he’s older to get more specific.

Meanwhile, I’m even more convinced that Atti’s not intellectually disabled, he’s just a bit of a butthead. After failing to answer any question put to him on the tests and completely freaking me out, the other night Bear pointed to one of his letter blocks and asked, “What’s that?” Atti didn’t even hesitate. He said, “It’s a J!” He wouldn’t do it for the psychologist, but when he feels like it, he shouts the answer out with conviction.

Atti starts school on Monday and he’s going to love it. I need to spend this week getting him ready. I have to buy him a coat, and he needs a little backpack that will probably be as big as he is. I think he’s just going to zoom and before I know it I’ll have this little kid with all these new skills.

Filed Under: Are you kidding me?, Atticus, The Good Life

Mango Sticky Rice

January 27, 2011

I’ve written before about my obsession with Mango Sticky Rice from our local Thai place. I would have, on occasion, ordered two servings at a time and called it dinner. But that would just be gluttonous.

A couple of months ago it was my turn to pick the book club selection, so in the middle of all my work for Uganda and for women, I chose Half the Sky by Kristof and WuDunn. The person selecting the book brings the treat for the evening, and traditionally that treat references the book somehow. I saw it as a perfect opportunity to spread my obsession to my friends and learn how to make this stuff so I could stop spending so much money for rice.

1 1/2 cups uncooked short-grain white rice
2 1/2 cups water
1 1/2 cups coconut milk
1 cup white sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt

For the sauce:
1/2 cup coconut milk
1 tablespoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon corn starch

3 mangoes, peeled and sliced
1 tablespoon sesame seeds

Cook the rice in the water using your favorite method. I toss mine in a rice cooker. Cook until it’s just barely undercooked.

Combine 1 1/2 cups coconut milk, 1 cup sugar, and 1/2 teaspoon salt in a saucepan over medium heat and bring to a boil. Set this aside until the rice is ready, then add the rice and cover. Allow it to cool for about an hour.

Dissolve the corn starch in the remaining coconut milk. Add the salt and sugar and cook until it begins to thicken. If it gets too thick add a little water or additional coconut milk.

Serve the rice topped with sauce, mangoes, and a sprinkling of sesame seeds.

Since I was making this out of season, I actually used frozen mangoes I picked up at Trader Joes, and it worked out just fine. This dish is better with overripe or mushy mangoes than with hard ones.

Filed Under: Stuff I Cook, The Good Life

2011 Year of Pleasures #4

January 25, 2011

San Diego had many charms, but I don’t miss the palm trees. I’m loving being back in a place where trees lose their leaves and I get to look at these beautiful bare branches up against that pale winter sky.

Modesto is in the heart of the breadbasket of California, where everything grows so beautifully, and each town has their agricultural specialty. For Modesto it’s nuts. Our minor league baseball team is even named the Nuts. It’s a major point of local pride.

The nut trees in winter are such glorious grizzled things of unconventional beauty. They’re so gnarled and twisted they look like ancient cowboys marked by life on the plains.

These trees are just the ones that live at the end of my neighborhood and aren’t anything special, but even these ordinary ones look beautiful when they’re bare and stripped down. And they’ll be beautiful again in a few weeks when they break out in buds.

Filed Under: Best of Modesto, The Good Life, Year of Pleasures