I got hit HARD in Blogger’s meltdown last week. I spent the whole day right before the crash working on things only to have it disappear in the bowels of Blogger servers minutes later. It’s looking like what’s gone is gone forever, so I’ll be over here starting all over again. Be back tomorrow.
Tresa’s Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Year
May 6, 2011
So for those of you not keeping track, along with the the regular old facts of my life – child with CP, chronic illness, infertility – this year I am living in a Roadrunner and Coyote cartoon. Dead cat, 3 month sickness including a hospital visit, failed adoption, plus a few behind the scenes things I haven’t been able to mention including a new medical diagnosis that I’m trying to deal with.
Then on Tuesday, catastrophic hard drive failure. My SECOND in three years. I must be sending out electric pulses or something. This one was our external hard drive, so the computer itself still functions, but it was some pretty epic data loss.
Since then I haven’t really gotten up from my computer. Losing stuff like this is a MAJOR anxiety trigger for me, completely bound up in how hard I work, my connection to the world, blah blah blah, I don’t think there’s anything that makes me freak out more than busted technology. I recognize that’s not logical, but neither is my anxiety.
Luckily, after the first hard drive failure, I started being pretty ridiculous about backing things up redundantly. So after a couple of days combing through the internet I was able to put things back together, mostly. I’ve lost all the pictures I didn’t blog between 2004 and 2007, but I’m pretty sure I blogged the best ones and that was pre-Atti, so we weren’t taking many pictures anyway. I can live with that. I’ve also lost my password to photoshop, but I found an open-source editing software called GIMP that I think will do everything I’d need to do anyway.
The music was the worst hit since that was the one area I wasn’t redundant at all. I’ve been re-uploading all my CD’s, re-downloading all my digital files, trying to remember what came from where. Stupid, time consuming, meaningless hassle that became so important to me in the middle of my panic. Bear and Atti spent the evenings playing together while I sat huddled over the keyboard like Smeagol.
The guy at Best Buy said that external hard drives usually only last three years. That seems like no time at all to me, and then I’d have to have a back up for my back up after year two. So this time I’m going to do online storage. I signed up at Dropbox and I’ve already used up my free space. If any of you want free online storage and sign up using this link, then I’ll get more free space to store my photos in. I’m really liking Dropbox, and I think this might be a good home networking solution. If everything goes in the box, then you can get to it from any computer.
So, crisis mostly recovered. But this does leave me pretty terrified considering that it’s only May.
A Place for All Those Little Pieces
April 23, 2011
At Atti’s birthday party a couple of months ago, he got a bunch of really cool presents that have been sitting stacked in their boxes in the corner of the room ever since. We’d pull them out to play with them, and then I’d put everything back in the giant cardboard box so that the little pieces didn’t end up lost under couches, or mixed up with other toys, or, and this is the most likely, swiped by kitties looking for something to bat around.
But those cardboard boxes were just not cute, and started to discourage us from even playing with the toys at all. It was time to come up with a way to keep things together, that didn’t involve making my house look like the stockroom of a Toys R Us. These little linen sacks are cute to look at, and are the simplest things to make, ever.
Fold a piece of fabric in half and cut so that it’s big enough to fit all the little pieces you want to put inside it. Be generous here, better too big than too small.
I drew a little image to identify what was going to be in the bag, and cut it out of another fabric. Clip art is another great resource for this. Iron it onto fusible web, and then iron it in place on what will become the front of the bag.
The fusible web gets it good and stuck, so it’s tempting to stop there, but it will eventually peel up if you don’t secure the edges somehow. For this bag I used a glitter fabric glue since it was absolutely the easiest thing ever.
I also tried treating it as a regular applique and doing a zig zag stitch around it, but my machine hated the cheap fabric I was using so I gave up after one attempt. But long term readers know how obsessed I am with applique, so if I wasn’t making this on a bad allergy/low patience day, I totally would have gone this route.
The super cheap fabric I was using was a fraying nightmare, so I made sure to zig zag all four sides. Then sew the sides up to make your bag shape.
Since I was going for easy as possible, I made a really simple drawstring closure. Fold the top in towards the center about 3/4″ and sew down, leaving a gap open at each side.
Then thread a ribbon through the casing and tie a knot to secure it.
I remember my dad getting so mad at my sisters and me for how messy our room was, and going through our toybox unearthing lost treasures I’d been looking for for ages. This way, maybe those pieces have a fighting chance of staying together. Now Atti can just look at the front of the bag to see what toys go where, we pull the string and toss the bag in the toybox, and then it’s all ready to be played with the next time.
Another big project
April 21, 2011
I seem to have what we stitchers refer to as start-itis. Some of the most fun in stitching comes in the planning of projects – picking a pattern you love, sorting among gorgeous fabrics and fibers to pull together supplies, and dreaming of what you’re going to do with the finished project. Then you actually have to get down to a lot of time-consuming work. Most of my stitching friends have tons of projects started that they’re working on off and on as they savor the joy of that beginning stage.
Among hard core stitchers there are several pieces that are looked at with awe and envy, massive undertakings that become a needleworker’s white whale, but there might not be any design that better fits that description than the Marbek Nativity. I looked and looked for a great picture online, but I came up short. The thing is so massive that it really doesn’t photograph well.
I spent an absolutely joyous day at my local needlepoint store as we piled fabrics around and discussed the changes we’d need to make to get what I want. The piece is designed to be mounted as panels in a special frame, but I wanted to stitch it all up as one big piece. This presented a bit of a problem because it required me to reconfigure the whole pattern, which I did by making working copies of the pattern and cutting and pasting them together, and then I had to get a piece of fabric big enough to fit it all. Making some changes to make it as small as i could, this is still going to be about a yard wide.
After going a few different directions, we decided on this gorgeous linen that is dyed twice to create a beautiful mottled effect in blue and sand. I think it will be perfect for a desert nativity scene with angels flying overhead.
As if reconfiguring the whole pattern wasn’t enough, we also decided to change out a lot of the special fibers they used. This part gets really inside stitching, but to get the size fabric I needed I had to choose a very close weave. Which means that some fancy fibers are too hard to use. If you have these tiny little holes, then some of the metallic or fuzzy threads just won’t fit. Plus, this was originally designed in the 80’s, and some of the colors they chose weren’t, shall we say, subtle.
We swapped out the metallic colors the designer suggested with this beautiful palette of muted golds and pearls.
I think in ten years, when I finally get this thing finished, it’s going to be absolutely stunning.
Mantra Wall Hanging
April 13, 2011
Years ago I did some work for a scrapbook paper manufacturer who made translucent vellum sticker paper. Vellum is beautiful paper, but can be tricky to work with since any adhesive shows through. The sticker paper made that problem go away. I thought it was a great product, but I’m not sure they’re in business anymore.
I loved designing projects with the paper, particularly overlapping the vellums and using them together to get even more interesting color combinations. I thought that I’d make something to go in my kitchen, cutting out different words and overlapping them in different ways, each word encouraging you to eat up. But then we moved and this kitchen doesn’t really have a space for something like that. Meanwhile, the idea was percolating in my brain, I had a big frame and empty space in my bedroom, so I thought about how else I could use this technique.
I was flipping through one of my scratch notebooks and came across this list of advice to myself. Something I had just scrawled down some day without any thought of how I would use it. Probably just at the end of a meditation, or some time I spent thinking about the lifelong quest of how to get from the person I am, to the person I want to want to be. I thought it would be great to put this on my wall and make sure I saw those goals more often.
I didn’t want this to look like a list of classroom rules, so I wanted to create a background colorful enough that the text would blend in a little. In my head, I wanted you to have to squint a little to make out the text. I wanted it to look kind of like an abstract watercolor, and only on the second glance would you realize there was stuff to read. So, I went nuts with the watercolors. This took me several tries. I kept being too shy with the color, so I had to force myself to go back over and over again, layering different combinations to get something close to the image in my head.
Since vellum is translucent it will take on a quality of the color underneath it. I took out all the different colors of vellum I had to work with and stuck it on an edge of my watercolored paper to see what worked best together, and what worked best with these colors behind it.
I cut out all of these letters by hand, using a printout from my computer as a guide. It wasn’t too bad, just an evening in front of the TV, but man oh man do I ever need a Silhouette. If anybody knows somebody over there, send them my way. I’ve got a million and one things I could do with that baby.
Since I was using a sticker vellum, I just had to peel and stick my letters in place. But you can also use a xyron sticker maker, or a spray adhesive. You just want to evenly coat the back of the vellum with adhesive so that any changes won’t show through.
This now hangs in our bedroom, in a little corner above my jewelry box, which makes it one of the first things I see in a day. I love that this bit of guidance I gave myself will now be available for me whenever I need it.
Artist(ish)
April 6, 2011
I feel like I’ve reached another real milestone by having artwork hanging on my fridge. I try to tell myself that it counts, cause it has Atti’s name on it and came from school, but knowing Atti I imagine that I’m really revering the artwork of a very patient teacher’s aid.
No matter how much I beg or plead, Atti has absolutely no interest in doing any artwork. I think it stems from his vision issues, and I’m hoping that we can resolve that as I keep being assertive about his eye care, but right now I’m not sure that he can see items on the page very well.
Plus he would have to hold a pencil or crayon or something, and this little stubborn-nose kid will not do anything just because you want him to, so I haven’t been successful in just teaching him to perform it as a rote task.
In his classroom, artwork is a big deal. They make something every single day, and I’m hoping that as he sees all the other kids doing it, he’ll decide to play along, but it is a big ol’ knife in my heart as I make one thing after the other and have him turn his nose up at me. I buy him crayons and markers and beautiful art supplies, only to have him drop them to the ground one by one and then put the paper in his mouth.
Until he decides to cooperate, I’m getting way too excited by a little paint on his shirt. It means that his hands were actually in the same vicinity as the paintbrush, so maybe he’ll figure it out one of these days.
I’m now an award winning troublemaker
April 4, 2011
This past weekend I ran off to Utah (via Orange County for the longest possible way to go, but also for free childcare) to attend the Salt Lake City Weekly party for the recipients of the 2011 Best of Utah award. Mine was as a board member of WAVE, the advocacy group I helped found, and the staff of the newspaper liked us so much they invented a category for us. Best Mormon Feminist.
I didn’t know what to expect, I was pretty sure I wouldn’t need an acceptance speech or anything, but it turned out to be a party at a club with free food and booze. I got no food, and was interested in no booze, so I missed out on that, but I brought my cousin friend Karen and we had a blast living it up like two single girls on the town. I even got hit on at the party, and since I’ve been developing a bit of a complex about my momma frump, that did the old girl some good.
We left the party and had a beautiful meal like you’d see on Top Chef, slept in late the next morning, went shopping, had another long lunch, and then Karen left and I got another day to sleep in, lay about the room, meet with some other friends, and get away from worrying about anybody else’s needs for a while. It was pretty dang luxurious.
I was so honored to represent the rest of us mouthy broads that make up the WAVE board, and I will now have a plaque on my wall declaring me the Best Mormon Feminist, if that ever comes up for debate. But I’m not really sure that my troublemaking needs to be encouraged.
Today is going to suck.
March 30, 2011
Here’s some cuteness to tide you over.
I’m running out of here for a last minute trip to Utah and to pick up a new (to us) car to replace the heap of embarrassment that Bear has been driving around in for years. Which means that I have to drive five hours down to Orange County, in the heap of embarrassment, with Atticus. By myself. Through some mountains, while Atti has his first ever ear infection.
At the other end of this day is a great car that won’t embarrass us, at a great price thanks to our cousin who runs a dealership, and a trip to Utah for a fancy party with my best cousin pal. But first I have to get through this day. Ug.
See you guys next week!
Happy Birthday to Atti
February 10, 2011
Our whole family is currently fighting off what feels like the plague, and I think this might be the moment of contamination. But it was too cute to resist.
Atti turned three on Saturday, so amid the rush to start school and another conference for me, we went down to visit the grandparents and have a day at Disneyland and party with the cousins before settling in to the school routine. It was madcap, to say the least.
Atti’s a little daredevil and didn’t have much interest in most of the little kid rides, but he loved going high in the Dumbo and he loved the twisting teacups. Bear and grandma couldn’t keep up with him.
We ended up leaving by noon, since I was feeling pretty sick and Atti was worn out. It’s hard work for him to sit up so much, but he loved every second of it.
Saturday I went to another one of my conferences and avoided touching any of the munchable babies around. By then I was on day 4 of feeling sick so I thought I was recovering until I came home and could barely get into the bed with the coughing and shivering I was doing. I apologize profusely if I spread this to people. I thought I was on the mend, but apparently it was the calm before the storm and I’ve gotten absolutely walloped.
While I spent the weekend in bed and on every kind of drug available over the counter, Bear and his mom went into party planning super mode.
Bear bought toys for goodie bags and made this cake from scratch, and Sal took care of the lunch and all the fixings. The only thing I did was wrap a few presents because I felt guilty I wasn’t doing anything. And then I took back to my bed.
Atti got some really great stuff. New school clothes, tons of learning toys, and lots of attention from his cousins.
And from his mom? He got this horrible mutant flu/cold/plague. Fortunately he seems to have an easier time of it. My immune system can always be counted on to fail me, so hopefully he won’t be incapacitated for a solid week like I have been. *whine*
Recouping
February 2, 2011
The last few months have been so exhausting, both good exhausting and bad exhausting but either way leaving me at a low emotional ebb. So Bear and I took a couple of days off to recharge our spirits. Luckily it happened when San Francisco Sketchfest was in town, so I’ve gotten to see a ton of really excellent comedy when I needed it the most.
Saturday night we drove into the city to catch a taping of one of the comedy podcasts I’m always going on about, Never Not Funny. The show was at 2, so we had our adorable babysitter come over to play with Atticus in the morning, and then drove in for a fancy lunch. After much consultation with Yelp, and a surprisingly hard time finding a nice place to eat lunch in a town known for it’s food, we decided on Gamine.
I ordered a brie and proscuitto crepe which I have to confess not liking a ton, but I didn’t even care. Bear got this mustard and apple cider glazed pork chop served on a bed of brussel sprouts, and then we got a side of the potato gratin. I devoured every last sprout and all of the gratin and then ate nearly an entire loaf of bread as I rudely used it to sop up the sauce on Bear’s pork. That sauce! I nearly licked the plate clean.
I wanted to try one of the delicious sounding desserts, but Bear wanted to walk off his meal before heading in for more, so we poked around a couple of the shops on Union street, I just about had a tantrum in an antique store when I saw all the delectable midcentury furniture that couldn’t come home with me, and we stumbled upon the chocolate shop that sold us those treasures in the photo.
I don’t really like chocolate (I know.) unless it comes hot and in a mug, but Bear loves chocolate, so he spotted the shop and wanted to get our dessert there. When he spotted a sign for gourmet hot chocolate, he knew he could make us both happy. CocoaBella is my new obsession. First of all, the hot chocolate they made me was out of this world. I chose a shade of chocolate and a flavoring, and what they handed me was like a warm chocolate hazelnut pudding. So rich I just drank it in little savoring sips.
Then we chose a few chocolates, but these are no simple chocolates. This place turned out to kind of be a chocolate gallery, with each selection carefully curated from the best artisan chocolatiers in the world. I had a pear one, a tangerine and chili one, and a lemon zest one, and I can’t stop thinking about them.
We got to our show with plenty of time to spare so I had a couple of minutes to meet some people I’ve chatted with over the internet thanks to our shared love of comedy nerd things, and then watch the show working on my knitting in between times I was clutching my stomach from laughing too hard.
The theater was right next to Chinatown and there was a big outdoor festival going on, so we had to zoom out of there as soon as the show was over, but once I saw we had driven past the historic City Lights bookstore, I forced Jared to stop and let me out so I could go check the place out while he drove around the block a few times.
An independent bookstore, a comedy show, gourmet hot chocolate, a walk in the city, midcentury furniture and a fancy French meal. If that is not a day that recharges my spirits, I don’t know if there’s any hope for me.