Ladies and gentlemen, my son can now officially sit up on his own.

A new day has dawned. Now I can take him to Target and not face the struggle of carrying him in my arms while I push a cart, or trying to push a cart and a stroller at the same time, or trying to haul around a 20 lb car seat full of 20 lb kid.

No, no. Now I can sit him in the cart like a regular old kid. Now he can sit up, supporting himself, without any help. Now he’s getting closer and closer to independence.

I’m so proud of this guy I can barely stand it. He’s such a little champ.

Next step? He gets his eye operated on July 7th. It’s terrifying, but good. I’ve learned that every single thing is connected, and once he’s got those eyes fixed I’m sure that he’ll keep this streak alive and accomplish even more.

What a little wonder.

With as frequently as the sad days descend around here, I pride myself on how hard I work to avoid the pity parties. For every weak day I share with all of you, there are hundreds more weak moments that I force myself past with a stiff upper lip. And then when I just cave in and need a day to feel sad and worried, I never indulge myself too long. I know I need to feel my feelings, but I also don’t want to spend a lot of time on things that won’t solve any problems.

So, with that being my focus I set about kicking my gloom this weekend. I did my usual routine of indulging in things that bring me pleasure, I slept in, watched lots of lame movies, and then decided to tackle a smallish but nagging project so that I could feel like I had accomplished something. We picked up a bunch of plastic bins from Target, I busted out the good old P-Touch labelmaker, and I went through everything in Atti’s closet to see what still fit and what could be packed away.

As I was folding all those tiny clothes, I couldn’t help but get nostalgic about where he’s been. All the preemie clothes that we dressed him in in the hospital, threaded over tubes and wires; the clothes we were given from friends and marveled at, thinking he would never fit; the clothes that were permanently stained with spitup from the months and months we tried to get him to eat and keep it down despite the acid reflux. All those things that terrified me last year, are no longer an issue. He’s faced all those early threats and tackled them, I have no doubt that he’ll just keep right on going.

And then, if I needed another reason to kick off the self-pity, yesterday Atti decided to crawl:

Maybe he realized he was starting to freak Mama out and it was time to stop playing around.

My healer quilt is in the wash, the therapist comes in two hours and I have two days to make a second quilt for the church auction, when I’ll be gone most of today. I’m frantically working my fingers off, so I figured you’d all forgive me as long as I post baby pictures.

This picture terrifies me. Where’d my baby go? Who’s this small child?

Who’s this small child with six pointy teeth?

I keep wanting to spend as much time outside as possible before the hot weather moves in, but since Atticus is still immobile, that gets to be a little tricky. I finally pulled out the Pack n Play, tossed him inside with half the contents of his toybox and let him have himself a little toy orgy in there.

Since this picture was taken Atti has decided that he is so over the whole patching thing, and hasn’t let us patch him for weeks. We go back to the doctor on Monday where we’ll get special drops to put in his eyes to use instead.

Lobo and Atti are still best of friends. In fact, I just had Atti laying across my lap taking a bottle, and Lobo jumped on the desk, wound through the mess of glasses and papers, crawled down on top of him, and laid down for a snuggle. It’s like I have the dog babysitter from Peter Pan.

OK, I’ve got to get back to the sewing machine. I probably would have been done with this by now if I hadn’t had the bright idea of doing another big embroidery piece. Oy. Sometimes I need a good shaking.

About a month ago, I was complaining about being deep in the motherhood trenches. Caught in a stagnant stretch where things seemed far too difficult and taxing than I had the resources for.

I’m now safely free of it.

I’ve always heard mothers say, “Oh it just seemed like he [fillintheblank] overnight!” And I always laughed politely because that’s the kind of thing that every mother everywhere says like it’s the most profound statement in the world, But I never really thought they meant literally overnight.

A week ago Thursday Atticus went to bed the same little kid he’s been for months. Still not sitting up, not crawling, not eating, communicating with a system of claps and giggles, and then he woke up Friday morning a kid with a whole new set of skills.

For months we’ve been working on his eating skills. The cerebral palsy makes controlling his tongue and mouth movements difficult, so it’s been interesting to learn just how much work goes into something that comes so naturally for most of us. He’s 14 months old and he still gets all of his nutrition from a bottle because he just doesn’t have the control to make the food do what it’s supposed to do. Until Friday morning. When he suddenly started eating his food from a spoon three times a day, and chewing up little pieces of Cheerios or cooked peas. For a solid week now he only uses his bottle for drinks and eats everything else like a real boy.

Lobo is less than thrilled at Atti’s newfound skill with the spoon. He has to work a lot harder to mooch now.

He’s starting to respond with actual words, he’ll sit up in his high chair for an hour at a time, he’s starting to get a knee underneath him when he’s on his tummy. The other day Bear fed him a dinner of nectarines and green beans and made the mistake of giving the nectarines first. Atti spit out the green beans, clammed his little mouth shut, tossed his head all around, until I finally caved. I didn’t want to start fighting over food when he was just now starting to be positive about it. No sooner did the words, “Fine, let’s give him some more nectarines.” exit my mouth than he started grinning and let out a chuckle of self-satisfaction so perfectly timed that it seemed like a sitcom. Maybe tomorrow he’ll work on developing a poker face.

His therapists are overjoyed, we hugged and cried together, just amazed at the iron will of this little guy. He’s taking his own time about things, but he’s doing it.

Last week when I posted that video about Atti’s obsession with music, I got a couple questions about what he listens to, so I thought I’d share our favorites and hopefully hear about a few of yours.

His go to music that never fails is anything by Elizabeth Mitchell. She’s amazing. She can turn anything – folk songs, punk, reggae, – into music for babies by her simple guitar and clear voice. So far she’s released You Are My Little Bird, You Are My Flower, and You Are My Sunshine, and I’m waiting with baited breath hoping she’ll release something else soon. I think Atti likes her the best because she sounds like a mama singing.

We’ve started listening to a lot of classical music and opera – especially when I need a peaceful moment – and we listen to a lot of world music, but especially Ladysmith Black Mambazo. Bear lived in South Africa for a couple of years and came back totally hooked. It didn’t take me long to become infected as well. I’d play Shosholoza to my belly and feel Atti start wiggling around to the music. You can’t be sad when this comes on.

I also really love Kites are Fun by The Free Design. I have no idea what the story is on these guys. They kind of sound like the people who sang that song Afternoon Delight, but instead of singing about nookie they’re singing about bubbles and kites and running through the grass. I don’t know if it was intended as music for kids or what, I only found out about them because one of my favorite podcasts uses the music for their intro, but it is thoroughly delightful.

They Might Be Giants is also crazy awesome for kids now, and while I don’t have their ABC or 123 collections, I have been a subscriber to their podcast where they share the songs and animated clips. Atti just stares at the computer screen transfixed whenever I put them on.

I kind of have an aversion to a lot of music that’s made for kids, so I’m always looking for music he likes, but that I can listen to without wanting to jump off a cliff. We listen to a lot of bluegrass together – he really loves Gillian Welch, but what really made my life easier was when I ended up making a bunch of playlists for Atti that are made up of normal adult music, that also happens to be appropriate for him. He’s got a Beatles playlist, an Elvis playlist, a Motown playlist (every kid should know Marvin Gaye’s Pride and Joy), but my favorite is the playlist I put together of lullabies.

Lullaby – Dixie Chicks
Close to You – the Carpenters
Danny’s Song – Loggins and Messina
Alright for Now – Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers (closest version I could find)
Like a Star – Corrine Bailey Rae
Morning Has Broken – Cat Williams
Shower the People – James Taylor
I’ll Take Care of You – Dixie Chicks (the video to this one is hilarious, but the music is what I was looking for)
Somewhere Over the Rainbow – Israel Kamakawiwo’ole
You’ve Got a Friend – James Taylor and Carole King
To Make You Feel My Love – Bob Dylan (this is a cover by Adele – who I love – but I also really love Dylan’s original version on Time Out of Mind)
New Soul – Yael Naim
The One Who Knows – Dar Williams

That last song is OUR song. That’s the one I sang to Atti every day in the hospital. That’s the one I whisper to him when he’s at his most distressed. That’s the one that I can never get through without welling up. Gosh it’s beautiful.

Do you guys have any good recommendations?