Atticus

2010 Year of Pleasures #16

April 20, 2010

As you read this I am at Disneyland with Atti and Bear and the grandparents, trying to soak in the last pleasures of Southern California before we have to leave it behind.

My guess is that Atti is going to go bonkers for it – probably especially the Dumbo ride – and by the end of the day I am going to have arms that Michelle Obama will envy after carrying around my little 25 lb sack of sugar.

Atti is such a little daredevil. Since he was old enough to hold his head up he’s loved being tossed in the air – Up was one of his first words. I think today will be the start of a beautiful friendship.

Filed Under: Atticus, Year of Pleasures

Presents for the Entourage

April 19, 2010

Wednesday was our last day with Atti’s therapists and it was awful. These women have been my support system for the last two years. Atti’s OT has been seeing him since he was 4 months old. The ladies from HOPE have been seeing him since the day I brought him home. It was like saying goodbye to family.

I needed to come up with a present for them, and I just did not have the time to do something like the quilt I did for the last therapist we said goodbye to, so I was stumped for weeks. I thought it would be nice to give them a picture of Atticus, but I felt a little self conscious assuming that a picture of my *perfect child* would be a present to them.

But I did it anyway because I wanted to honor the relationship they’ve had to him. I wanted to recognize how important they’ve been in our lives. And a framed picture seems a little intimate – reflecting just how close to our hearts they are.

Michael’s carries 8 x 8 unfinished wooden frames, so I bought up a bunch of those and painted them a neutral cream color.

I pulled out some fabrics from my stash and cut each piece 2 inches bigger than the frame on each side. Then I stapled two sides to the back of the frame.

Fold the corners neatly and staple the other two sides to the back.

Cut the center out of the fabric, leaving just enough fabric to cover the inside lip of the frame and glue in place with fabric glue. You’ll need to make a slit in each corner to get it to lay flat. Slit right up to the edge but be careful not to go past it.

Add any additional decorations to the front. I stamped “You made a difference” onto grosgrain ribbon using a permanent ink and glued it to the front with fabric glue.

Secure that ribbon to the back with more glue, and maybe even a staple.

Cut a piece of flannel or fleece or felt or whatever – whatever you don’t have to hem – to 7″ square, and then cut a square out of the center 1 1/2″ in from each edge. Glue this to the back to cover up any mess and staples.

Despite my misgivings, these seemed to be a big hit. His OT told me she’s going to hang it up in her living room. I just don’t know how these therapists do it – pouring so much love and concern into these kids only to watch them grow up and go away and lose that connection. I just hope that they know how important they have been to the both of us.

Filed Under: Atticus, Mushy Love Stuff, Stuff I Make, Tutorials

2010 Year of Pleasures #15

April 16, 2010

You know what is a SERIOUS pleasure? A friend who reads this tweet:

There are so many things I’m supposed to be doing now that I’m just paralyzed. Can’t pick a place to begin!

and decides that the perfect solution is to blow off responsibilities and head to the zoo. And then pops over while you’re still in your jammies and talks you into it.

Even though we went when Atti was supposed to be napping, and just after getting a shot at the doctors, he came through like a trooper. He loved every minute, and I got a ton of snuggles. He finally conked out at the very end as we walked through the butterfly jungle, so I carried him, asleep and sweaty, through this magical garden packed with butterflies floating right next to you and landing on your shoulder.

Cynthia was dead right. The answer to too much to do? Escape to the zoo.

Filed Under: Atticus, The Good Life, Year of Pleasures

My little genius

April 15, 2010

*I posted the wrong video. This one has some alphabet and numbers. All better.

Atti will never perform on command, so to get his latest achievement I had to hide in the background.

One day Atticus was crawling around playing with his toys, and Bear and I noticed him saying his ABC’s. We both came in from other rooms to check and see if we were really hearing what we thought we heard. But we were, he sang the whole thing.

Then, while waiting in line at a drive through, he started counting. And he got all the way up to ten. Since then he’s made it up to 15.

He watches a few hours of Sesame Street a week, and he’s got lots of toys that count or say the alphabet, but Bear or I have never worried about enforcing that. We’ve got other worries. It turns out he didn’t need our help on this one. He figured this out all by himself.

Filed Under: Atticus, The Good Life

I swore I’d never…

April 9, 2010

I had to share this blurry photo from our big drive, Atti slumped over like a couch potato, eyes glazed over watching Elmo, chocolate smeared all over his face from a cookie he found under his bum.

I think this one photo represents eating every word I ever said.

Filed Under: Are you kidding me?, Atticus

Goodbye REINS

April 8, 2010

This morning we’re sitting around the house, Atti’s crawling around playing with his toys and I’m hopping all over the internet trying to cross things off of my massive to do list. A free morning is an extremely rare thing around here, and ordinarily I’d treasure it, but today it’s sad. We’re only home because we’re not at REINS.

For the last three months we’d get up early every Thursday morning and drive out to the country so Atti could ride horses and I could soak up a blessed half hour of tranquility. It was the highlight of my week, every time.

But it’s done now. Once everything became final for the move, it was time for Spring Break. Now that Spring Break is ending, we’re too close to the move to keep going.

Just in those three short months, Atti has made such tremendous progress. He’s sitting up so much taller, his little tummy is so much stronger. And he loved those sweet gentle horses. He’d pat them on their fuzzy rumps, or bury his little fingers in the hair on their neck. Whenever I talked to him about his horses, Pancho or Grand, he’d just light up and then rock his body back and forth in a riding motion.

I’ve already looked into similar options in Modesto and there’s several to choose from. We’re moving to a more rural area, horses are not going to be hard to come by. But still. It’s sad to leave such a beautiful place where everything was going so well. Going there made us both so happy, and helped us both in our own ways.

Filed Under: Are you kidding me?, Atticus, The Good Life

Glimpse of the future

March 22, 2010

A few weeks ago PBS showed a recording of the Broadway play “Passing Strange.” Bear and I both really love musical theater, but we don’t get to go much anymore, and we certainly don’t get to see something new and groundbreaking like “Passing Strange.” We’re happy and grateful when we get to see the occasional touring company of something. Having a performance filmed and aired on PBS is such a treat.

I watched it a while back when I had a rare day home with Atti. I nestled into the couch with my knitting and tossed some toys around for Atti to crawl back and forth between and entertain himself, but I don’t think he touched them once.

The moment the music started, Atti was transfixed. He watched the entire thing with me, absolutely mesmerized.

I’ve turned out to be a little bit of a late bloomer, and I’ve often wished I had more chances for education. I’ve wondered aloud many times, How did Michael Jordan find out he was Michael Jordan? What if Tiger Woods never picked up a golf club? Maybe there’s a skill buried in me that is waiting to be discovered, and I could be really good if only I gave it a try. But since there are a million and a half things to do in this world, who ever gets around to trying it all? I guess there has to be some magical moment when the talented person sees something for the first time and feels called to it.

I don’t think I’ll be terribly surprised to think back on that day, to re-read this blog post, and see that this is where it all started.

Filed Under: Atticus, The Good Life

Happy Cerebral Palsy Awareness Day!

March 20, 2010

Cerebral Palsy is a brain injury that occurs either during pregnancy or shortly after birth. There are many causes: problems during pregnancy, infection, brain bleeds, traumatic birth, and as in Atti’s case, oxygen deprivation. Whatever the cause, the damage inflicted to the brain is in the area that governs motor skills.

The brain works like a big electrical circuit board. Messages go from the brain through a system of neurons, like electricity through wires, until it reaches the muscle and tells it to move. When the brain is damaged in this area, it’s like the wires are cut and there’s a blockage in between them.

Because the brain is a marvel, as these kids grow they can often develop new pathways. So to continue our analogy, it’s like the wire can snake around the blockage and repair itself. But this requires more work than I can find words to describe, a staff of dedicated therapists, constant stimulation, a very determined kid, just the right kind of injury, and a whole lot of luck.

I give thanks every day that so far, I have all that.

Atti loves his therapists. He loves physical therapy. He wants to move so much. He talks like crazy and I can usually tell what he means.

He is the happiest little kid. Tenderhearted and affectionate. He loves animals and music, I think he’s going to grow up to be my little poet. When we go horseback riding he spends half the time patting the horse on her fuzzy rump. He’ll crawl over to me and press his forehead against my lips for a kiss, and then lift it up and drop it back over and over and over again, making me give him kiss after kiss after kiss.

He is the light of my life.

Cerebral Palsy makes life complicated, but it’s no tragedy.

For more information, check out the CDC’s site.

Filed Under: Are you kidding me?, Atticus, Do-gooding, The Good Life

I’m so glad when Daddy comes home.

March 15, 2010

Bear is Atti’s best buddy.

Filed Under: Atticus, mama musings

Boys will be boys

March 8, 2010

Would you look at what my guy did to his perfect little face?

I’m not really sure how it happened, but I know that every one of those bruises corresponds to one of the slats of his crib. Either he slept with his face squished against the side of the crib, or he had a serious headbanging session in the middle of the night.

Then there was also earlier this week when I undressed him to find enormous raspberries all over his belly. He had given himself carpet burns from the industrial carpet at the church by trying to crawl away while Bear held his ankles.

Or there was once during Christmas time I turned the corner to discover he somehow managed to tear a bunch of my handmade paper ornaments off the tree and rip them into pieces.

I probably shouldn’t take pleasure in these kinds of things, but I can’t help myself. Even when it’s inconvenient or unpleasant, the appearance of normality is just wonderful.

I often get into conversations with other moms where they talk about how their kids make them crazy. The messes they make, the hilarious things they say, the crazy daredevil tricks they come up with, including creative ways to inflict bumps and bruises. For most of the time I’ve been a mom I was just an audience to these kinds of stories. Smiling and laughing, pretending I understand, knowing that if I was going to share a story about how Atticus makes me crazy it would be something like, “Oh it makes me so crazy when he fights me about putting braces on his legs!” or “I tried and tried to get him to drink from a cup and finally he pushed it away and made me spill it all over myself.”

I tend to think these stories fit the flow of the conversation, but they usually result in other moms cocking their heads and clucking in pity. It’s not the same. It’s not inconsequential. It’s not a funny little diversion from a happy normal life, it’s a peek into a life where what makes the average mom frustrated is the base level I operate at. That’s how it seems to them anyway, because they don’t always see how happy and normal we often are.

So when something happens, even if it’s bruises on his perfect face or destroyed Christmas ornaments, that actually fits with what the other kids are doing, I rejoice. I have a story to share! I don’t have to scare all the other moms with the ghost stories of disability. I have something inconsequential to say. He’s just as big a pain in the neck as all the other kids.