One of the friends that came over last week is a fellow blogger from here in San Diego, but she is a PR professional, so she actually knows how to do all the stuff that I’m so bad at. Like returning emails. Or responding to comments. Or being polite.
Natalie told me about how many other bloggers exist in SD, which I knew nothing about, and what a great community they’ve developed. Then she told me that they had planned a get together where they were going trapezing, but it was full. Until Thursday when she emailed me that there were a couple spots open, so I jumped on the opportunity. This is, like, Bucket List material. It didn’t matter how overcommitted I was last week, when are you going to get another chance to ride a trapeze?
Heights have never really bothered me, so I didn’t expect to have a problem. Until I started climbing that rickety 30 ft ladder. The adrenalin and nerves were so overwhelming I could hardly move. They were trying to explain simple maneuvers to me, like “hold the bar over your head” and it took me a good 10 seconds to get that message communicated from my brain to my hands.
Even once I’d made the leap and was more flinging through the air than flying, all I could think was how fast I was going and how my hands were sweating so much I wasn’t sure I’d be able to hang on.
But I did it. I landed safely in that net and crawled out with every part of me shaking. It was exhilarating and crazy fun.
Then the night took a bit of a bittersweet turn for me. Everyone else moved on to start tackling tricks like knee hangs and backflips and catches, and I could. not. bring myself to get up there again. I’ve mentioned a couple of times lately how I’ve been struggling with my anxiety. I’m not currently medicated which means that I need to pay special attention to my emotional state and cling to my coping mechanisms. Once I got off the trapeze the adrenalin was so intense, and the fear of the rest of the tricks was so great, it just knocked me flat. I felt like if I pushed myself, I would launch straight into a panic attack. And that is the LAST thing I would want in front of a room full of delightful brand new acquaintances. So I decided that “chicken wet blanket who is still able to smile and laugh and hold conversations” would be a much better impression than “hysterical hyperventilating blur running from the room.”
By the end of the night, I was ready to go back for more. Watching everyone else continue to go up and accomplish all these amazing tricks gave me a sense of security I was missing earlier in the night, and the adrenalin rush had faded enough to clear my head. But, of course, by then we were out of time. So I’m eagerly awaiting the next get together when I can go in a whole lot more prepared and conquer all those anxious feelings.
Bloggers as a rule tend to be awesome, friendly, entertaining people, and this group was a ton of fun. It was hilarious to watch the trainers try to deal with a roomful of people attached to their smartphones and cameras. @EyeMusing, @MrsNatalie, @CandiceStone, @CathyNguyen, @EverydayMama, @GingerAnderson, @Hip_M0M, @iizLiz, @jboydSanDiego, @Karinayhmy, @RockOnMommies, @SugarJones and @NBCPhotog and @CaliforniaKara who recorded the whole thing. It was such a great night, and so so awesome to hang out with a bunch of people who get what I do. Not once in the whole night did I have to say, “Have you ever heard of a blog?”
The crazy pants we’re all wearing were donated by sponsor @Bskinz, so it looks like I’m going to be on the news flying through the air in my zebra spandex. Who wouldn’t have been anxious, right?