School has been pretty great for both of us, but I do have some neglected momma feelings. Atti’s still not talking fluently, so when I pick him up from school he can’t really tell me about his day. Then we get home and only have a little time together before nap time, and in the evenings I have to share him with Bear. It’s so exciting to see him blossom out into the world, but I do miss my best baby friend.

The other day Atti and I stopped at a coffee shop after school for a treat. I was hoping I could get him a cookie to eat while I took some time with my hot chocolate, but they didn’t have any. So I bought us a pastry oozing with whipped cream and strawberries, and we dug into it with our hands and raised a cloud of powdered sugar around us.

My hot chocolate got cold, but I was having too much fun making a mess with my favorite little buddy. Maybe having a little less time with him during the day will force me to really be present for the time we do have.

Atti came through his surgery like a champ. It went way way easier than any of us expected and he got away with just a little cut through the skin, a couple of stitches, followed up with a band aid and some tylenol. Way better than the cutting through muscle and organ and several days of immobility we were expecting. Once we got out of the hospital he really didn’t complain at all.

In the hospital was a little different though. He fought those nurses with all his might, refusing to wear the scrub cap, nearly ripping off his id bracelet, and when I was allowed into the recovery room I found him screaming and crying so hard he was nearly hyperventilating. As soon as he saw me he started shouting, “Bye! Bye! Bye!” to the nurses, like, “I’m outta here, chumps!”

Thinking that his surgery was going to be far more invasive, I canceled his therapy this week and warned his teacher he might not make it back right away. I think even if he had been hurting, Atti wouldn’t have let me keep him home. He loves school with all his little heart. Every morning when I wake him up and tell him it’s time to go to school he stretches his arms over his head and shouts, “YEAH!”

I’m mostly loving Atti going to school to. The first couple of weeks were a rough transition as I paced around the house or wasted time on the internet until it was time to go and snap him up. But now that I’m getting used to the routine I’m really enjoying the structure it’s giving me. I like that I’m getting dressed every day, I like that I’m getting a schedule of my own that doesn’t revolve entirely around the moods of a little tyrant, I like that I have some time to work that I don’t have to feel a trace of guilt about.

It’s also made me a lot more productive. Depending on the task for the day, I can spend Atti’s school time working, go pick him up and then do lunch and a household chore, put him down for a nap and some writing time, and then wake him up in time to start dinner. When I was with him all day long I could fit in maybe two of those things, but certainly not all of them. It’s kind of amazing.

But best of all, I now have a little bit of time to go out into the world by myself. I can run a few errands here and there that I’ve been avoiding for ages because it wasn’t convenient to take a big stroller or take time away from family. It just so happens that most of these errands end up being a visit to a craft store. It’s been great for my soul, but not so great for my wallet.