After months and months and months of waiting and phone calls and frustration and tears, today we have our big fat appointment with the special fancy doctor. I hope his signing hand is ready, because I’m walking in with a big fat stack of paperwork for him to sign, including medical releases for disabled license plates and horseback riding, prescriptions for walkers and standers and special seats, and maybe even braces. My little guy is probably going to be getting his own pair of “magic shoes.”
After this appointment, we’ll FINALLY be able to start therapy again, which means that he’ll go to therapy twice a week, his MOVE class once a week, and then horseback riding another day a week. Which leaves one more day a week for any doctor’s appointments. And, anything else I need to accomplish.
With how my own responsibilities have ramped up this year, I’m kind of terrified by the thought of having to accomplish all this. I have no idea how I’m going to get it all done, but it all has to get done. So….I don’t know, stop sleeping? I’m thinking that abandoning all attempts at hygiene is far more likely. And if I stop sweeping all the cheerios off the floor, then I can multitask by letting Atti feed himself with what he can crawl up to. There you go, I just found another hour in my day. Creative solutions. That’s what’s needed here.
The past six months have been really tough, often in ways that I couldn’t really share on the blog, and often in ways that I couldn’t even begin to put words to. I’ve been walking around with this huge weight on me that, despite my efforts to jump through hoops, my child not having therapy was evidence of my failure as a mother. As I type those words out I’m rolling my eyes at myself because it’s so painfully obviously false, but it doesn’t matter. The worry we feel for our children is rarely logical. Today is the day we cross through into that light glimmering at the end of the tunnel.
Thank you all so much for the support you’ve given me. I rely on my friends in the internet far more than you realize, and even though I can rarely respond to comments, they mean so much to me. I don’t know how I would have gotten through all this without you guys cheering me on.