It’s been pouring rain here all week. Pouring like it’s time to build an ark. And rain is my cryptonite. In that it makes me want to drop all my plans, grab a blanket and a kitty and hit the couch listening to the wind and rain. When it rains so rarely around here, this is a reasonable indulgence, but a week of couch time is a bit much.
I started feeling guilty about this yesterday, and then I realized that I needed to take advantage of it while I had it. So I absolved myself of guilt and pulled out a puzzle. I spent the whole of Atti’s nap time listening to a podcast and putting together little pieces while watching the rain on the window. It was awesome.
The last few weeks have been crazy overscheduled, but in ways where I wouldn’t want to give anything up. Friends and family in town, entertaining, doctors visits for Atti and for me, along with his usual rounds of therapy. There’s some new responsibilities on the horizon that are going to take a tremendous amount of my time and energy (no I’m not pregnant), and then we got the phone call saying that Atti’s been accepted into the therapeutic horse riding program. So now he’ll have therapy four times a week.
That’s when the panic attacks started.
It’s fine. I’m fine. I’ve been dealing with anxiety since I was a teenager, and while I’m not currently medicated, I have a huge selection of coping mechanisms to keep things humming. That’s actually how I picked up crosstitching, actually. To ease my troubled mind.
But it also means that I need to be aware of when I need a literal mental health day, and to jump on the opportunities when I can claim them. Yesterday I found myself with a couple free hours, so I forced myself to chill out with a puzzle instead of doing the dishes. Today Atti had a cough and runny nose so I backed out of playgroup, my sister is on her way out of town and the next guest hasn’t made it to me yet, so I’m going to take my chance while it’s here. Today I think I’ll read a book. And listen to the rain.