If you happen to be struggling with controlling your emotions, and you carry a deep and abiding hope that when you become a mom it will help your wounded heart heal as you create a safe and happy life for this new little person, I recommend not watching the movie Waitress.
If, however, you are a normal person, you should run right out and watch this movie today.
We watched it last night and, while I normally would have just gotten misty eyed, instead I found myself going on an hour long (literally) crying jag and hyperventilating until Bear finally just had to put me to bed.
Over time I’ve learned that there are certain movies that just push my button too much and I can’t be counted on to behave rationally after watching them. Any (good, touching, well-made) movie where a downtrodden woman rises up and reclaims her life with the help of those she loves are sure to get me weepy (Like The Color Purple or Forrest Gump, not a Lifetime Movie Network movie). Movies about sisters (like Sense and Sensibility or The Color Purple, again) also need to be avoided, but movies that show the redeeming power of motherhood are the biggies. Bear can always tell when I’m having a bad day because I’ll be watching the movie adaptation of the Roald Dahl book Matilda (it always seems to be playing on cable somewhere) just to torture myself and have a good cry.
Matilda is the holy grail of weepfests for me because it taps directly into what I long for the most. A smart, talented little girl, whose parents don’t understand or support her, discovers her inner strength, conquers the bad guys, and then is adopted by a woman who adores her. I used to read that book as a kid and dream of finding magic powers I could use to change what made me unhappy about my own life. Now I’m grown and I’ve done all the work to get over what I was unhappy about back then, but for years I’ve felt like the last step to getting over my sad little childhood was to create a wonderful childhood for my own kids. At the end of the movie the narrator says something like, “And as bad as things were before, that’s how good things were now.” Which is always, always, when I go into the ugly cry.
Last night as I was hysterically (hah! Literally!) crying, and poor Bear was doing all he could to stifle his laughter (which he was not very successful at) I just kept saying this one line from the movie. I don’t want to spoil it, so I can’t say which one, but it just perfectly summed up everything I’m hoping for with my own little sprout.
By the way, we go in on Tuesday to try to see what kind of a sprout this kid is going to be. Lucky for me this is happening at Christmas time, so I’m so busy going out of my mind with Christmas prep that I can’t go out of my mind waiting for the ultrasound.
Also, we’ve finally come up with a name for this kid. Not a real person name, just something to call it instead of “The Kid.” After Bookcase didn’t end up sticking around, we kind of lost the heart to get attached until we passed the danger zone, and once we passed the danger zone we couldn’t think of anything to call it, so we kept racking our brains. Bear started threatening to call it Cletus the Fetus, so we had to come up with something, quick.
I think I’ve mentioned before that our family motto is, “Go Team Edmunds!” It’s so cheesy and hilarious to us, but we mean it, too. When Bear had to go in for his state boards, “Go Team Edmunds!”. When I bust out a super productive day and finish another house project, “Go Team Edmunds!”. When a surprise bonus check comes in the mail just in time for Christmas, “Go Team Edmunds!”. Anyway, in light of that, until the kid pops out and gets its real name, we’re calling it The Rookie.