Bear and I love a good meal. Discovering a great little hole in the wall is one of our greatest pleasures. I don’t think we’ve eaten at Chili’s or Applebee’s since we’ve been married, and only very rarely at the Olive Garden because Bear has a weakness for the salad and breadsticks.
Not drinking alcohol slightly complicates this love affair. As part of our religion we don’t drink any alcohol of any kind. The only time I’ve ever been tempted to break this rule is over wine though, just because of the way it’s written about it relation to the food. So instead of having just the right lovingly grown wine to bring out the flavors in our meal, we get a coke. At best. Frequently we’ll get a waiter who gives us truly lousy service once he realizes the bill will be about half the size as someone who orders a bottle or two.
I’ve started explaining my dilemma to the waiters in hopes that we’ll get one familiar enough with their bar that they can offer an interesting solution. I’ll say that I don’t drink alcohol, but I don’t want to drink soda or water with my meal, what would they suggest? Normally, I just end up with lemonade.
I’ve kept at it though, because I figure that unlike when I was in high school and a total freak for not drinking, now that I’m an adult I know that there are a million reasons why someone wouldn’t want to. People are allergic to alcohol, they could be driving, they could want to preserve some inhibitions, they might be an alcoholic, etc. etc. etc. Surely one day restaurants will realize how many of us are out there and offer some kind of a solution.
Last Friday, a colleague of Bear’s took us out to a very nice Italian restaurant. I went through my spiel with the waiter and he suggested a Virgin Cosmo. Finally! I thought, someone who can be creative and help me out! He explained that it would be cranberry juice, lime juice, and a splash or two of triple sec. I’ve heard of triple sec from my time waiting tables, and back then somebody told me it was like lemonade, so I thought I was cool. Surely the waiter wouldn’t steer me wrong after I specifically told him I didn’t want alcohol, right? I mean, why would someone go to the trouble of taking the vodka out of their drink and leave in something else? Is anyone out there only allergic to vodka?
I started growing a little concerned by a couple of mumbly comments the waiter made. He said something about triple sec having a splash…did he mean a splash of alcohol? But the way he phrased it, maybe he meant the drink would only have a splash of triple sec? I was confused and wary, but hardly panicked. I have worked in bars and spent plenty of time around beer and wine, so I thought that if there were a mistake I’d just take a sip and send it back if necessary.
My drink came and it was absolutely delicious. I was in heaven. I thought I’d finally found the drink to request at every fancy meal. I even had Bear take a sip just to make doubly sure there was no funny business going on and he thought it tasted great. There was no sharpness, no sour fermentedness, just fruity deliciousness so I drained my glass.
When our hosts picked up the check I even joked with them that they should make sure they were only charged for cranberry juice. They just kind of avoided the issue. Looking back, I’m sure they just didn’t want to be the ones to tell me that I had just tasted sin.
Bear beelined to the computer when we got home to look up triple sec, and wouldn’t you know it, it’s a triple distilled orange liquor. I honestly didn’t taste a thing. It really just tasted like juice. And meanwhile I’m innocently breaking my lifelong ban against the stuff.