And this is both good news and bad news.
Good news because for months and months now I’ve rarely changed out of my pajamas or spoken to actual human beings who have met me in real life.
Bad news because what was supposed to be a 2 day a week gig has swallowed me whole.
Bear has been pushing me for ages to go find something, but I had been digging in my heels and resisting with all my might. For one thing, the market around here is awful, as I’ve discussed, and I find the job search absolutely humiliating and demoralizing. But I also really dug not having to report anywhere when someone told me to. I loved pursuing my own interests and doing things my way. However, it was certainly not the most productive way I’ve ever done things. No deadlines at all seemed to mean no reason to finish anything. So I have a million projects neatly lined up in my studio waiting for me to get around to the last step, and they have been patiently waiting there for months. I have that book proposal ready to send off, except I can’t think of a stinking working title, so it all just sits.
But mainly, we’ve got IVF staring us down and I did not want to be sitting in some cubicle somewhere as I charted and bore the scars of all the poking and prodding and trying to explain to some boss why I needed more time off.
The other day, Bear and I were out running around and we stopped by the local scrapbook store. There, prominently displayed, was a Now Hiring sign. As soon as I saw it my only thought was, “Crap. I’m going to have to deal with that.”
My pride was a little wounded at the thought of going back into a store after all my other experience. It seemed like a pretty sizeable step down for me. I sucked it up and went in anyway and it’s a good thing I did. This store needs HELP. They’ve had a few devastating years full of family health troubles and major problem employees and now they are in dire straights.
I’ll be teaching classes twice a week, and now it looks like I’ll be working 4 days a week instead of the one or two I went in planning on. This month I’ve had a total of 5 days off. including Sundays. when the store is closed. Oh gosh my work is cut out for me there.
Of course, because I am so incredibly OCD and controlling, or as Bear gingerly said to me the other night, “passionate,” I cannot be content to just come in when I’m supposed to, do my job, and leave when I’m supposed to. Thoughts of what I want to do to this store keep me up at night. On our trip to Utah I spent every free moment going to scrapbook stores to get ideas. I put together a 4 page proposal full of market strategy. It annoys me to no end that they don’t swallow my advice wholesale. I just don’t think I’ll be happy unless I run my own store. Which of course I can’t do since we still have no idea where we’ll be six months from now.