I had to travel down to SoCal this weekend to throw a Bridal Shower for my future sister-in-law.
I lurve party throwing. In fact, I so pride myself on my skills that every person I know has asked me if I’m going to try out for Martha Stewart’s Apprentice. (No way, ever.) However, if I never had to throw, attend, plan or think about another shower for the rest of my life I would be one very happy girl.
Showers Suck. They seem ordained to be as boring as possible while celebrating all the outdated female stereotypes that make me go all squinky. Who honestly believes that a room full of grown women want to play lame party games where they have to race to see who can change a diaper the fastest? Who wants to sit around picking at a vegetable platter while everyone passes around all the wee baby presents so we all get a close up view?
Obviously I think Baby Showers are the worst. Of course a new mother needs a lot of stuff, and it’s a blessed event, so I’m cool with the party and gifts idea, but why do I need to look at all the new stuff and pretend that’s entertainment? Why do I need to act infantile to celebrate an infant? And at a wedding shower, why do I need to pretend that this moment is what the bride’s whole life has been for? Again, I get that a new couple setting up house for the first time need a lot of stuff, and it’s a blessed event. Again, cool with the party and gifts. But WHY do we all need to sit in a circle and stare at the bride as if we’re either trying to recapture that moment for ourselves or figure out how we can land a man in the first place. We never force the birthday boy or girl to be grilled in this manner.
Either scenario has sociological and feminist implications that concern me, but what sets me off most about showers is that they go against every rule of a good party! A good party has good food, not cheese and crackers and a vegetable tray (because girls don’t eat real food, silly!). A good party has a flow to it, the guests aren’t held prisoner in a circle of chairs like a group therapy session. A good party involves mingling, not a 3rd degree of the guest of honor. And most of all, a good party’s entertainment comes from good people having good conversation set to good background music. NOT FROM COOING OVER CHINA PATTERNS!