As an extremely logical person, it’s been very difficult to lose my grasp on my emotions and all reality as this kid takes over my body and my sanity. I start crying at the most ridiculous things (as I’ve discussed). Yesterday at church a dad brought his daughter a tissue as she was speaking at the pulpit and I just lost it. I looked over at Jared and said between sobs, “You’re going to be a dad!”
The over-emotion is humiliating for me, but the real problem is the mood swings. Bear is a big tender-hearted, sensitive man, so I’m doing everything within my power to bite my tongue when the crank starts coming. Sometimes, the switch is flipped so lightening fast it terrifies even me. The other day I was working on my crosstitched stocking while Bear and I were watching television. He slightly shifted his weight which slightly moved the pattern I had resting in my lap, which I wasn’t even consulting at the time, and before I even knew what was happening I heard myself *shrieking,* “BEAR!!” He just froze like I was warning him from stepping on a basketful of puppies, and looked at me with eyes wide to see what the emergency could possibly be. Luckily for me, the crazy switch flipped back and I burst into laughter recognizing how out of control I was for a few seconds there.
Poor guy couldn’t even keep up. He just thought he was witnessing his wife have a nervous breakdown.
Still, I strive with all my power to keep those moments of hateful shrewishness kept safely locked inside my little brain, so he really doesn’t have that much to complain about. I keep telling him he just doesn’t appreciate what a delight I am to live with, and that every day I manage to only be sweet to him he should shower me in presents for my efforts.