Last night I took Bear to the airport for a business trip. He’s off in Seattle this week, learning how to do his job from someone else who’s really good at it. He spent today in Lynnwood, and then tomorrow he’ll be in Tacoma. It’s a little wierd knowing he’s in my old stomping grounds without me. It’s been ten years since I spent any time there, so who knows if anything is still even the same, but it makes me a little wistful to think about what he’s seeing. Having the whole house to myself with nothing to do might also contribute to that emotion.
He’s been off on business before, and I’ve traveled for business a ton, so we should be used to time apart, but we’re not. We seem to be one of those rare couples who don’t actually like time away from each other. When we were first married I used to look at other couples and worry about the future of their marriages because they seemed to relish a break from their spouse. Now, I recognize that we’re the oddballs. So many times Bear will make a comment at work about how he likes to spend time with me, or sacrifices that we’ll make so we can be together, and everyone around him will react with shock and either horror or awe.
He’ll be back on Thursday night and I’m already feeling rootless. I enjoy the odd night to myself. Tonight I had dinner at my favorite cafe and now I’m watching an interview on BookTV with Michael Chabon while I wait for the iron to heat up so I can work on a sewing project. This is a perfect night in my book, and all activities that I have to ration when Bear’s around, but I’ve still spent more time wandering around and pacing the halls then actually relaxing or getting things done. I just don’t seem to know what to do with myself without him anymore.
The other night we watched the movie Great New Wonderful which had a storyline involving an elderly couple where the wife waited on the husband and went completely neglected and unappreciated. Bear stopped the movie to ask, “Do I ever make you feel like that?” I thought it was so sensitive of him. We had a really good talk about personal interests and how we can support each other in them better to make sure that we both remain ourselves. I loved him so much for that. For caring enough to ask and for being brave enough to hear the answer.
I can never make my mind up if we’re overly dependant on each other or if our interdependance is a virtue. Right now I just now that I miss him after one night and Thursday can’t come soon enough.