Bear just got back from a hiking trip with all the teenage boys from church, and I think he’s broken. They hiked half-dome in Yosemete, which is apparently a legendarily gut-busting hike, and Bear’s only been hiking maybe one other time in his life.
Not to mention the fact that he weighs about 250 lbs, and that’s a heck of a lot of weight to carry around no matter what kind of physical shape you’re in. All the skinny guys, including Boy Canadian, were doing great! Chugging along, jumping up the rocks, making it with no problems whatsoever. Meanwhile Bear and another former college athlete who still weighs over 200 lbs were dying the whole way up.
It reminded me of the Pro Wrestlers who went on Amazing Race thinking they were so tough they were going to kill everyone, and instead got their butts handed to them because they couldn’t carry all that muscle around on the marathon that race always turns out to be.
So poor Bear can barely walk, and the exertion combined with mild dehydration apparently made him susceptible to a virus, so he’s now shivering and has a fever and so far he’s sweated through three sets of pajamas. He’s completely helpless.
And here’s where my problem comes in. It’s *my* job to be the helpless one around here, what’s the big idea? I had to make my own dinner and his, I had to do all my work for church tomorrow by myself, AND, I even had to leave the house on my own to drive all around town looking for printer ink.
It’s days like this that I finally realize just how badly this disease has destroyed me. Bear is so good at taking care of me that my needs are all met and I’m OK. But when he’s incapacitated? I’m screwed. Eating and getting printer ink, two stupid things that I wouldn’t have even bothered to put on a to-do list before, now become insurmountable tasks that take every ounce of willpower available to my poor beleaguered body.
I really wish that my body would cooperate on those days that Bear needs a sick day, but the pain continues unabated, and I have no other option but to suck it up and find a way to deal.